In the journey of parenthood, there comes a pivotal moment when children pose The Question. You know the one — it’s daunting and uncomfortable, signifying a major responsibility. This isn’t about “Where do babies come from?” Instead, it’s the classic, “Can we get a dog?”
In a Reddit post titled “Dog Agreement by Hesitant Dad,” user msmith14 revealed his humorous response to the dreaded inquiry: a detailed contract that his kids had to sign, outlining everything from the dog’s size to specific areas in the yard designated for its bathroom breaks.
The contract kicks off with a clear stipulation: “We can adopt a dog if everyone agrees to the following terms.” First and foremost, “Dad will never pick up dog waste. Ever. The kids are responsible for cleaning up after the dog three times a week, to Dad’s satisfaction.”
The dad further elaborated on the dog’s requirements, specifying that it must weigh no more than 15 pounds, should not shed (good luck with that!), must relieve itself in a designated area in the side yard (specifically on the rocks near Carla’s fence — sorry, Carla!), and must be bathed by a child whenever Dad decides it’s time. The dog also must not drool or have a runny nose. “All parties agree that those kinds of dogs are unpleasant,” the agreement states.
Additional Clauses Include:
- The dog must not scratch the flooring. How this is achieved is up to the kids — whether by trimming nails closely or using booties, all parties agree that scratches are unacceptable.
- If the dog creates any mess in the house, and natural cleaning methods fail, then harsher chemicals may be used to eliminate stains and odors.
- Dad maintains veto power over the dog’s name.
- The dog is not to be referred to as a child or sibling; all parties acknowledge the dog is a dog.
- The dog’s name must not appear on the family Christmas card. If the dog does appear, it must be in a minor role — the dog should not be the focal point of the photo.
Most importantly:
- The children commit to never losing affection for the dog or becoming bored with it. All parties agree the dog is primarily the kids’ responsibility for its entire life.
The Reddit community responded to msmith14’s post with laughter and a few comments suggesting that he would likely end up loving the dog more than he anticipates. Some criticized his approach as cold and unreasonable, but to me, this contract serves as a realistic preparation for the responsibilities that come with dog ownership. Dogs require much more than just cuddles; they are a long-term commitment, and this dad is equipping his kids for that truth with a healthy dose of humor.
In the comments, msmith14 revealed that his family did indeed adopt a dog shortly after signing the contract. “Two weeks later, we welcomed a three-year-old white fluffy mix from a shelter weighing 15 lbs, already house-trained, with no shedding or drooling,” he shared. “We named him Rex (veto power not used)… Everyone, including Dad, loves the dog, which has become a wonderful addition to our family — though not officially a family member.”
It seems a family dog agreement might not be such a bad idea after all. If you’re curious about other family planning topics, you can check out our post on the at-home insemination kit for more insights. For those interested in in-depth guides and options, resources like Healthline can be quite useful, and Intracervical Insemination offers valuable information on related topics.
In summary, a dad’s amusing take on a family dog contract has captured the attention of many, showcasing both humor and practicality in preparing children for the responsibilities of pet ownership.