My kids wear fresh clothes, enjoy nutritious meals, bask in sunshine, and stay active—and they also hear the word “dingleberry” a lot.
I enjoy colorful language, and yes, I’m a mother. There, I said it loud and clear.
When they were little, my children likely drifted off to sleep listening to me mutter “Craptastic!” after stepping on a rogue Lego while tiptoeing out of their room. In years to come, those expletives might just resonate with them like fond memories of lullabies.
Swearing can be amusing, entertaining, and a fantastic outlet for stress. It doesn’t define me as a bad mom. It doesn’t make me crude or unrefined or a poor role model. Instead, it brings me joy—and let’s face it, a bit of humor. Research has even shown that swearing can boost creativity and expand vocabulary. That’s the kind of information I’m here for!
Just because I have a penchant for words that might belong in a sailor’s lexicon doesn’t mean they shouldn’t find a place in everyday conversation. Honestly, exclamations like “Gosh Darnit” or “Frickety Frack” just don’t cut it when I stub my toe or drop a box of cereal all over the floor. I need something more expressive—perhaps “Clusterbomb” or “Shitstorm” fits the bill. Words like “dinglebutt” roll off my tongue as naturally as breathing or complaining about the price of avocados.
And yes, my kids hear these playful curse words and, shockingly, sometimes repeat them. But you know what? I’m not overly concerned. I’ve made plenty of adjustments for my little rascals, like becoming a morning person and sitting through animated films at night. However, altering my language is not on the table.
You might be worried about how my choice of words affects my children, but rest assured, they’ve learned the difference between right and wrong—even with my colorful vocabulary. For example, they know that “what the heck” isn’t appropriate in front of Grandma. They also understand that swearing in school, church, or while chatting with the cashier is a no-go. And we definitely don’t curse at each other, even when tempers flare.
We’ve shown them the right moments to toss around a curse word. Those words can add flair to a sentence or elicit a laugh. For instance, belting out a song while swapping in some choice words is perfectly acceptable. Nothing is quite as hilarious as a toddler peering into the toilet after a successful potty trip and exclaiming, “Holy crap!” I’m going to tell that story until I can no longer speak and it’ll make me laugh every time. Allowing them to use these words around us teaches them self-control and when it’s appropriate to unleash a “douche canoe.”
So, if my approach to swearing makes you want to toss your keyboard out the window, take a breath. The only kids I drop my colorful language around are my own and a few other little ones whose parents share my fondness for blunt expressions. We’re a tight-knit crew of potty mouths, and you know what? Our kids are thriving. Imagine that!
So why not join us? It’s liberating and revitalizing to sprinkle in some explicit words occasionally. Trust me, I’m an expert at it. And for those interested, you can learn more about parenting and insemination in our other blog posts, like this one on home insemination kits.
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Summary
In this manifesto of motherhood, Samantha Turner shares her unapologetic love for swearing while parenting. She illustrates how her colorful language doesn’t hinder her ability to raise well-mannered children who know when it’s appropriate to use such words. The piece emphasizes that a little bit of humor and honesty in parenting can go a long way, encouraging others to embrace their authentic selves, even when it includes some choice expletives.