Hello there,
Firstly, I want to acknowledge how interesting it is that you reached out to me through a mutual friend I haven’t spoken to since high school. That’s quite a bold move! I mean, since I use Facebook, I must be totally okay with privacy invasion, right? So, thanks for your upbeat message!
When I didn’t respond, you decided to send me three follow-ups. Persistence, I’ll give you that! Eventually, I caved and replied, even though I knew better. Your casual tone with someone you’ve never met is impressive. It made me feel like I should engage, even if I was being subtly nudged toward a sales pitch. You started with light conversation to disarm me—an excellent strategy.
Then came your question about wanting to get healthier, feel better, and maybe shed some pounds. When I said no, it seemed to throw you off a bit. I guess I owe you an apology for not being interested in your unsolicited advice. I mean, judging someone based on their appearance? How could I be so rude! It’s a fact that nearly half of American women wear a size 14 or larger, which only expands your potential customer base who you can label as “unhealthy.” I appreciate you offering products that lack FDA approval, backed by someone without medical training. Oh wait, you’ve read all the marketing materials, right?
Next, you offered me a chance to try your product for free, provided I post a pre-written message on social media. I didn’t want any of your products, but I seized the opportunity to kickstart my long-held dream of becoming an influencer. I sent you my rates—pretty generous, if I say so myself—but you acted shocked. You explained that this was your livelihood. You’re a small business owner! Didn’t I want to support a fellow female entrepreneur? Wow, I was caught off guard there.
To highlight my supposed blunder, you shared how amazing you felt after using your products. I checked out your recent posts, and I must say, your use of unflattering images, generic copy-and-paste posts, and excessive emojis was impressive. The way you concealed the product names made it so that people had to inquire about your supposed success. It’s clear you rely on social media for leads and sales.
Despite my clear disinterest, you pushed me to join your team, selling products I had no desire to use. I appreciated that you thought I’d excel at it, especially considering my lack of sales experience and modest social media following. When I mentioned my concerns about it being a pyramid scheme, you reassured me that it absolutely was not. Your enthusiasm was reassuring, especially because it seemed to mirror the pyramid-shaped compensation structure I was worried about.
You assured me your MLM wasn’t one of those with lawsuits, and I surely wouldn’t end up among the 99% who lose money. Those individuals must just not be putting in the effort, right? Unlike you, tirelessly posting on social media and pressuring friends and family into buying overpriced products. Maybe you just need to recruit a few more team members!
If this opportunity isn’t right for me, you have others! Makeup, leggings, candles, books, body wraps, essential oils, children’s apparel—you name it! I just need to invest a small amount for a starter kit, and if I hustle hard enough, I could earn it all back! I might even make enough to quit my job and live the dream. What a fantastic opportunity! Almost too good to be true!
So, I will have to decline your kind offer.
For more information about artificial insemination, check out this excellent resource. And if you’re interested in boosting fertility for men, take a look at this blog post. They really know their stuff. You might also find insights on this connection useful.
Summary:
The author responds to an MLM message with a mix of sarcasm and honesty, highlighting the pushy tactics often used in these scenarios. They decline the offer while pointing out the unrealistic promises and potential pitfalls of MLMs, all while directing readers to relevant resources for further information on topics such as artificial insemination and fertility.