Dear Theme Day,
You’ve certainly mastered the art of surprise—always appearing when I least expect you. I might have been forewarned by a crumpled note nestled in my child’s folder, buried beneath the book order form and the PTO Carnival sign-up sheet. It reads: Wednesday is Hawaiian Beach Day! Thursday is Dress Like a Reading Superhero Day! Monday is Pajamas Day! Friday is Hat, Sunglasses, and an Article of Clothing in a Color That We Guarantee Your Child Doesn’t Own Day!
I see that note, and I approach you with good intentions. I think, maybe I should search for a pair of sunglasses, even if winter is still holding on. I remind myself to set a reminder for the superhero day, as crafting a proper costume will take some planning. And of course, I need to ensure that my child’s sole pair of fitting pajamas, which doesn’t look like it was gnawed on by rodents, is clean.
Yet, here’s the truth: I have a job, family responsibilities, friends, and a life that doesn’t center around fulfilling your whimsical demands, Theme Day. Honestly, I’m not really that invested in you.
Then, just when I’ve managed to forget about your existence, I’m in the kitchen feeling accomplished as my child eats breakfast and is ready for the bus. Suddenly, my son looks up from his toast and asks, “What should I wear for my superhero costume today, Mom? It needs to be related to a book we’re reading.” And there you are, appearing out of thin air, laughing at my dismay. My partner suggests, “Why don’t we just put him in a T-shirt with a superhero on it?” but I’m already diving into storage boxes, feeling the pressure rise, while my son panics about his costume being “lame.” I assure him, “It’s not lame! It’ll be unique! It’ll be creative!” Next thing I know, I’m cutting uneven eyeholes in a bandana, safety-pinning felt to whatever I can find, and searching for something that can serve as a cape (yes, this sequined shawl will do). In the chaos, both my son and I are on the brink of tears.
“Mom, what about some gloves? What about this stuffed snake I can wrap around my neck?”
“Yes,” I reply. “Yes, yes, yes. That’s perfect.”
But you and I both know it’s not perfect, Theme Day. We understand that the costume’s imperfections reflect on my abilities as a parent, and in turn, my worth as a person. It’s a harsh reality that I’m failing at this parenting gig, and you seem to revel in it, you sneaky, joy-thieving monster.
When we spent a year abroad, I had hoped I’d left you behind in the U.S., but you trailed us to a small school abroad for Dress Up Like a Character From Your Favorite Fairy Tale Day. Seriously, Theme Day? Couldn’t you grant us just one year of peace?
And let’s not even discuss the “wolf costume” I cobbled together from a stained gray shirt, gray pants, and a brown scarf tied to a belt loop to serve as a tail. That was not my proudest moment as a parent. You humiliated me on an international stage, Theme Day, and for that, I won’t forgive you.
I know the kids adore you. My son eagerly anticipates your arrival, as you inject some fun into the otherwise mundane routine of school. Perhaps we wouldn’t need you if education wasn’t so focused on order and discipline, so much about filling in blanks and fitting into boxes. But here we are.
So despite my disdain for you, I still find myself scrambling to create costumes at the last minute, often realizing the bus is coming in just 10 minutes. Somehow, I manage to send my child off to school in a makeshift, book-themed superhero outfit, complete with lopsided eyeholes, yet he’s thrilled to show it off to his friends.
And as I look into his shining eyes, I’m supposed to feel that it’s all worth it, to take back my harsh words about you, and promise to treat you with the respect you seemingly deserve next time you come around.
Instead, I say this on behalf of all the weary parents out there: Go away, Theme Day. Just go away.
For more insight on navigating the complexities of parenting, consider checking out our post on artificial insemination kits or explore baby naming ideas for when the time comes to celebrate life’s milestones. Also, don’t forget to use March of Dimes for great resources on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, Theme Days can be a source of stress for parents. Despite the joy they bring to children, they often lead to last-minute scrambling and feelings of inadequacy. As parents, we endure these challenges while juggling multiple responsibilities, all in the name of making our children happy.