Despite our differing motivations, my partner and I have consciously decided against cutting our son’s hair. I tend to be the more outspoken one, driven largely by political beliefs. I reject the idea that gender should dictate how children present themselves, especially regarding something as fluid as hair. The outdated notion that “good girls have long hair and boys should sport short cuts” is one I refuse to accept. Perhaps my disdain stems from my own experiences as a Black girl with textured hair, which never conformed to society’s preference for “flowy” styles.
My partner’s reasons for wanting our son to keep his long hair seem to stem from three main aspects. First, he enjoys living vicariously through our son, as his job limits his own hairstyle choices. Second, he resents having been forced into haircuts by his stepfather as a child, despite his mother’s objections. Lastly, he believes our son should determine when he wants his first haircut, rather than it being imposed on him.
Although my public stance may waver depending on my exhaustion with hairstyling, I recognize that raising a Black boy with long hair isn’t for the faint-hearted. Weekly, we face unsolicited advice from family members suggesting we conform our son to conventional beauty expectations by giving him a fade like many other Black boys.
However, I want my son to express himself freely. His hair represents that freedom, even as I’m acutely aware of the challenges we face. A recent story about a 4-year-old named Alex, who was discriminated against for his long hair, particularly struck a chord with me. The parallels were hard to ignore; Alex shares a similar age and hairstyle with my son, and both of them live in Texas.
According to his grandmother, a school official told them that Alex’s hair was too long and presented them with three options: cut it, braid it and pin it up, or send him to school in a dress and have him identify as a girl. This policy explicitly prohibits “ponytails, ducktails, rat-tails, male buns, or puff balls on male students.” Alex’s family is actively challenging this narrow-minded perspective by engaging with the school and advocating for more inclusive policies.
My heart goes out to Alex and his family; I can’t imagine how I would react in their situation. Thankfully, our son attends a school that doesn’t discriminate based on hair length or style, which has made us all happier. It’s crucial to recognize that boys with long hair often take pride in their unique styles. They feel comfortable expressing themselves until they are told otherwise.
Yet, countless boys like Alex, and even some girls, continue to encounter institutional bias and prejudice. Policies that dictate hair length and style based on arbitrary professional standards are unacceptable in today’s world. By allowing schools to enforce such “dress codes,” we communicate to our children that they should strive to fit in. I want my son to embrace his individuality rather than learn to assimilate. My hope for him is to live authentically, regardless of the circumstances.
He is intelligent, loving, and possesses many admirable qualities. If someone fails to recognize those attributes because of his hairstyle, that reflects their issue, not ours. For more information about home insemination options, you can check out this helpful guide on the home insemination kit.
In conclusion, it’s essential for parents to empower their children to express themselves freely and to challenge outdated norms that promote conformity over individuality.