1. “Don’t make me come over there.”
Truth is, I’d rather not interrupt what I’m doing.
2. “Because I said so.”
Honestly, I can’t muster up another reason right now.
3. “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”
I’m really just hoping for a moment of peace—maybe 30 seconds of silence would do wonders.
4. “Stop that this instant!”
If you could just pause before I have to get up, I promise we can forget this whole thing.
5. “Don’t make me turn this car around!”
I’m bluffing here. If we turn around, we’ll miss out on groceries, diapers, and yes, even that wine. Just play along, and I’ll get you a cookie later.
6. “Don’t forget to say please and thank you.”
Honestly, I’m not sure what I’ll do if you forget, so just say them. It’ll make you look good, me look like a great mom, and it’s a win-win.
7. “Eat your veggies and you’ll grow up to be big and strong!”
I’d rather not face the pediatrician and admit you won’t eat healthy. Just a few bites, please? I’ll even bribe you with a cookie.
8. “You are just fine.”
You’re okay, right? Go ahead and play, jump off the couch, and just act like a normal kid.
9. “Do you want a little cheese with that whine?”
If only I could teach you to pour me a glass of wine instead.
10. “I am the parent and you are the kid.”
I know this sounds condescending, but I’m really just reminding myself who’s in charge here.
11. “Let’s try to not eat off the floor.”
To be honest, I don’t care if you do, just don’t let anyone else find out!
12. “I would never have gotten away with that when I was your age.”
Truthfully, I can’t recall my childhood, but it sounds good anyway.
13. “I am going to count to three and then you better be in your bed.”
I’m running on empty here; all I want is for us to go to bed. I’ll count slowly, hoping it actually works, because I’ve got nothing left after that.
14. “Goodnight, stay in bed.”
Please, please just stay in bed. I’m so exhausted tonight that I might pretend to think you’re asleep if you get up to play. Just close your eyes, okay?
15. “I love you.”
I love you more than you know, and I really hope I’m nailing this whole mom thing.
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In summary, motherhood comes with its own unique language, often filled with unspoken meanings. We say things out of love, exhaustion, or hope, often wishing for cooperation from our little ones. Whether it’s a plea for politeness or a gentle reminder to eat healthy, there’s always more beneath the surface.