I’ve shifted my approach to fashion and home decor. Now, I select clothing that I enjoy and that is suitable, without fretting over whether it aligns with some notion of “me.” My focus has turned to making our home comfortable, appealing, and practical, rather than worrying about whether it showcases my so-called “unique style.” I realized that pondering my personal preferences was not something I found engaging.
I discovered that my primary means of self-expression is through writing, which genuinely captivates me. This realization liberated me from the pressure of needing to curate my outward appearance or the aesthetics of my home. I no longer want to overanalyze choices that don’t resonate with me on a deeper level.
I know many individuals who derive joy from making deliberate selections, taking the time to uncover what truly delights them. However, I’ve come to understand a fundamental truth of adulthood: just because an activity brings joy to one person doesn’t mean it will do the same for me. Life is brief, and I prefer not to invest energy in making thoughtful choices about things that don’t genuinely matter to me. Social psychologist Roy Baumeister also points out that the quest for “authenticity” can come at a cost, as the mental effort involved in making choices can deplete our energy for other important tasks.
Interestingly, as I let go of the need to express a personal style, I became more aware of my personal commandment to “Be Emily.” Although these concepts seem similar, they diverge significantly. Ironically, spending time embracing the idea of being true to myself has enhanced my understanding of my tastes. While I still lack the motivation to ensure that my preferences are reflected in my belongings, I now have a clearer sense of what I truly appreciate. For example, I recently became fascinated with the stunning Laurelton Hall, a masterpiece by Louis Comfort Tiffany, which I know I adore.
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In summary, I’ve found freedom in releasing the pressure to adhere to a specific personal style. By focusing on what truly matters—like writing and genuine self-expression—I’ve discovered a clearer understanding of my preferences without the burden of overthinking.