I find myself yearning for a public school that’s already thriving instead of one that’s merely improving. While exploring various options—relocating, private institutions, or religious schools—the most feasible choice remains home-schooling. I admire the concept, yet the thought of being the primary educator doesn’t excite me.
So, I’ve settled on enrolling my children in the gradually improving public school and committing to being actively involved. We will engage in fundraising, participate in enrichment activities (which I amusingly imagine as “adding butter”), and take them to after-school robotics camps, blending their bedtime stories with Mandarin flashcards. Essentially, I envisioned a blend of public education and home-schooling.
Recently, Sophia Martin, a writer and mother who has lived in both Europe and the U.S., shared insights in an article on Quartz titled “France’s Effective Approach to Reducing Helicopter Parenting Enhances Life for Women.”
Adopting a more “French” parenting style would mean drastically challenging our cultural norms solo. The piece elaborates on the French school day, which is significantly longer than the American counterpart—running from 8:20 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. It also serves as childcare, provides delicious, healthy lunches, and offers after-school classes and sports twice a week. Martin points out that helicopter parenting is prevalent in the U.S., while in France, it’s virtually nonexistent: French parents do not have constant access to their children’s teachers and are not expected to contribute to fundraising or volunteer during work hours. They can work knowing their children are well cared for, educated, and nourished. “Public school is not intended to be half home-schooling,” she asserts.
This sentiment resonates with many parents, including myself. However, I often find myself feeling somewhat envious—well, that’s wonderful for France. Pamela Edwards’ detailed comparison of parenting in France and the U.S., titled Raising Kids in Two Worlds, coincided with my own parenting journey and sparked my interest in “how” I raise my children. The term “how” is in quotes because most of us operate within our circumstances, hoping for the best outcomes. While Raising Kids in Two Worlds provides fascinating insights, it lacks practical guidance; adopting a “French” parenting style would require me to swim against the tide of our society.
Public education in the U.S. is highly inconsistent, with a significant gap between our lowest and highest-performing students. The top public schools—where “top” translates to “wealthy”—thrive because of an involved and affluent parent community. For those of us in middle or lower-income brackets, our children’s educational success often hinges on our commitment to fundraising, tutoring, and liaising with teachers. Alarmingly, a third of America’s fourth-graders cannot read at grade level. The issue isn’t merely that I’m a helicopter parent; it’s that there’s a critical failure within our educational system.
Martin addresses this concern: “Mothers are being forced out of work and into a system that is starved of resources, teachers, staff, supplies, and basic necessities. This situation stems from a societal disdain or outright hostility toward quality public education.” She also raises a crucial question: “Why don’t more Americans consider increasing taxes to improve education and childcare rather than relying on mothers?”
When local schools fail to meet expectations and the cost of not pursuing higher education is steep, mothers will do whatever it takes to secure their children’s futures. I often wonder why this is the case. It’s disheartening that our nation provides minimal support for families and seemingly low standards for public education. I suspect those who oppose universal high-quality childcare belong to the “I got mine” mentality.
Martin proposes that instead of hovering, mothers should dedicate time to their professional and personal interests or advocate for improved childcare and educational opportunities for all. While this is a commendable suggestion, it’s not practical for many of us who believe that our involvement in our children’s education is the only barrier between them and potential struggles with literacy or numeracy. Until there’s a substantial improvement in school quality, American parents are unlikely to step back from managing their children’s education.
The headline “France’s Simple Solution to Reducing Helicopter Parenting” is rather amusing. Revamping our educational system, childcare framework, parental leave policies, and the economy—essentially overhauling our entire culture—is hardly simple. While I understand the need for catchy headlines, this feels akin to “France’s One Weird Trick…”
Moreover, while I appreciate the value of learning from other countries, it’s disheartening to see even Martin imply that mothers are to blame: “[T]eachers work without the constant parental input that’s common in the U.S. Spending hours each afternoon chatting with demanding moms is not in their job description.” Labeling mothers as “overbearing” or “helicoptering”—terms that carry negative connotations—shifts a significant portion of the blame onto them, who are merely responding logically to uncertain educational conditions. When local schools underperform and the stakes of not obtaining a college degree are high, mothers will do everything possible to help their children succeed. That is their responsibility.
Certainly, we should advocate for longer school days, equitable funding that addresses poverty, social programs tackling poverty, and well-trained, adequately compensated teachers. However, it is essential to stop framing this as a “mother problem”—“Kids must learn resilience without their mothers hovering”—as this carries the undertone of belittling women. It’s a collective issue we must address.
In summary, public education should not feel like an extension of home-schooling. It’s crucial for parents to advocate for better educational systems that relieve the burden from mothers and provide children with the necessary resources for success.
For more insights on home insemination, check out the Cryobaby at Home Insemination Kit. If you’re interested in resources about pregnancy, this Wikipedia page on in vitro fertilisation is an excellent reference. Additionally, you can explore summer reading suggestions that could be beneficial for children.