I have a healthy fear of spiders, a panic around clowns, and a genuine anxiety about opening cans of biscuit dough. (If you’re not startled by that pop, you might just be superhuman.) These are fears I can typically sidestep, but there was one that I couldn’t escape: the terrifying prospect of pooping while giving birth.
When I was expecting my first child, my concerns extended beyond the usual worries about labor. Sure, I was apprehensive about the impact of childbirth on my body, which is a common concern for first-time moms. I mean, picturing the logistics of it all felt like attempting to fit a massive pillow through the neck of a sweater. But once the thought hit me that I might actually defecate on the delivery table, my worries multiplied exponentially.
I had stumbled across a line in a pregnancy guide that stated, “Your doctor may instruct you to push as if you’re having a bowel movement.” This led me down a rabbit hole of dread: what stops you from actually having one? The reality hit me like a ton of bricks—nothing stops you. Whatever is inside—whether it’s a baby, the placenta, or last night’s dinner—is coming out. Until that moment, the thought hadn’t even crossed my mind, but then it became all-consuming, akin to a nightmare where you find yourself completely exposed in public … and then some.
Desperate for reassurance, I called my sister. “What if I poop on the delivery table?” I urged, nearly in tears.
“It happens,” she replied calmly. “Sometimes it’s unavoidable. But honestly, it’s not a big deal.”
Not a big deal? The idea of accidentally exposing myself in front of a room full of medical professionals, including my partner, whom I hoped to maintain some level of intimacy with post-birth, felt monumental. While I trusted the medical team to safeguard my health and my baby’s, the thought of them witnessing my most vulnerable moment was unbearable. I mean, I once heard someone pass gas in a fitness class and nearly lost it trying to contain my laughter!
In my mind, I conjured a nightmarish scenario: I’d be squatting in a vulnerable position, my body on full display, surrounded by a group of medical staff (including an intern who looked suspiciously like a young heartthrob). And then, the moment of horror would strike—cue the awkward sound—and suddenly, all eyes would be on me. Shock, disgust, and poorly concealed giggles would ensue.
Despite my overactive imagination, my rational side reminded me that medical professionals handle these situations all the time. “They’re trained for this,” I told myself. Yet, the apprehension persisted; the idea of having an uncontrolled bowel movement while completely exposed was daunting.
However, once labor began, the overwhelming excitement and focus on the task at hand overshadowed my fears. When it was time to push, all I could think about was the little life I had been waiting to meet for nine months.
“Just push as if you’re trying to go to the bathroom,” the nurse said. With an epidural numbing me from the waist down, I obediently complied. That’s when I noticed the nurse discreetly tending to the absorbent pad beneath me. A realization washed over me: I must have pooped.
But to my surprise, there were no gasps of horror, no laughter—just professionalism all around. In fact, I didn’t confirm my suspicion until my partner kindly mentioned it later.
So, to all the soon-to-be mothers fretting about this issue, rest assured: it’s not nearly as catastrophic as you fear. While it’s understandable to hope you don’t have an unexpected delivery surprise, if you do, it won’t be a big deal. The staff are well-equipped to handle it with grace, and you’ll have more pressing matters to focus on.
So embrace the experience; the last thing you should stress about is a little poop. That’s a topic for another day—like your first postpartum visit, which is a whole different adventure!
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Summary
: Many expectant mothers worry about the possibility of pooping during childbirth. While it may seem embarrassing, it’s a common occurrence and medical professionals are accustomed to it. Ultimately, the joy of welcoming your baby far outweighs any concerns about bodily functions during delivery. Embrace the experience and focus on what truly matters—your new arrival.