Each day, as I embrace motherhood, I feel a small piece of myself slipping away. My little one is nestled in his highchair, while I tackle the mess of the day. His arm swipes across the tray like a windshield wiper, sending waffles and oranges flying. An urge of frustration wells up inside me, but then I meet his sparkling eyes filled with joy, and that frustrated piece of me fades into nothingness.
In the early hours, while I’m cozy in bed and the sun is still hidden, I’m jolted awake by coos and squeals, followed by louder cries. There’s a part of me that yearns for the weekends when sleeping in until 10 was the norm. But then I remember: mornings are when my little one shines, testing out new words and charming me with his antics. That longing for lazy mornings dissipates.
While trying on clothes in the family fitting room at Target, I watch my son’s legs swinging joyfully from the cart. Nothing seems to fit quite right, even after shedding the baby weight. A voice in my head whispers, “You would’ve rocked that dress before becoming a mom…” I think back to that slimmer, trendier version of myself, whose aspirations revolved around a future with children. And just like that, that self-critical piece of me fades away.
Nap time arrives, and I relish the beautiful silence I’ve longed for. But a part of me aches for the independence I once had—the quiet afternoons spent with books and leisurely lunches. Then I remember his laughter and the delightful sound of his little feet pattering across our home. That selfish ache quickly dissolves.
Motherhood is a curious balance. It’s both invigorating and exhausting, constantly challenging my faith, testing my patience, and expanding my heart. Yet, through these challenges, my faith and patience grow stronger, and my heart swells with love. Although I sometimes feel like I’m at my wit’s end, the rope of my resilience keeps getting longer.
It’s true, each day as a mother, a part of me does fade away. However, I refuse to mourn these changes. My child is shaping me into a better person with each passing day. Eventually, the doubts about my capabilities as a mother fade too, leaving behind a profound sense of gratitude—and a floor littered with bits of waffle.
For more insights into the journey of motherhood, consider exploring this resource on pregnancy and home insemination. For those navigating the early stages of parenting, you can find valuable information on milestones and developments for your 6-week-old baby. If you’re interested in learning about fertility journeys, visit this link on couples’ fertility.
In summary, motherhood involves continuous change, challenging both our strength and joy. It teaches us that even as we lose pieces of ourselves, we are gaining something far more valuable.