After the arrival of my first child, I began to notice that alcohol had a negative impact on my well-being. While I was never a heavy drinker, my college years and early adulthood saw me indulging in alcohol at rates typical of my peers. I never particularly loved drinking, but I found enjoyment in it.
During my pregnancy, I abstained completely from alcohol. Once my daughter arrived, I attempted to enjoy an occasional glass of wine or a beer, but I discovered that my tolerance had plummeted. Just half a glass of wine left me feeling unwell—not in a fun way.
Alcohol has a range of effects on me. Unlike many who become jovial and sociable, I tend to become argumentative. My natural inclination to debate, perhaps honed by my legal education, is amplified by alcohol, leading to interactions that are anything but pleasant. Furthermore, my inhibitions drop, and I find myself saying things I ordinarily wouldn’t, becoming less discreet and more prone to gossip.
What truly made me reevaluate my relationship with alcohol were the feelings I experienced the next day. I often woke up anxious and filled with remorse, questioning whether my behavior had been as obnoxious as I feared. After enduring these unappealing effects, I would inevitably become overwhelmingly tired—yawning uncontrollably and feeling miserable.
These negative experiences were exacerbated in social situations where I was surrounded by acquaintances rather than close friends, or when I found myself in activities I didn’t particularly enjoy. In those moments, being friendly and polite felt all the more crucial.
Despite the potential social perks of drinking, the enjoyment I derived never outweighed the negative feelings. I lacked the ability to discern good wine from mediocre, hard liquor was never my thing, and I resented the calories alcohol contributed to my diet when I could enjoy dessert instead.
Ultimately, it became clear to me that drinking was not a happy experience. While it brought joy to others, it detracted from my happiness. I preferred to forgo alcohol to evade regret and conserve calories.
This realization wasn’t about denying myself enjoyment; rather, it was about recognizing that alcohol didn’t bring me joy. I appreciate the festive atmosphere that drinking can create and enjoy celebrating with a glass of champagne or a beer every now and then, but I’ve learned to only indulge in moderation—an approach that suits me much better.
There are moments when I question why I choose to drink so little, feeling somewhat constrained while I observe others reveling. But then I remind myself that it simply isn’t enjoyable for me.
What strikes me most about my decision to cut back on alcohol is how long it took me to realize it was the best choice. I often wonder why it was so challenging to acknowledge my own preferences. Sometimes, the most obvious truths about ourselves can be the hardest to see.
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Summary
In essence, my decision to stop drinking alcohol stemmed from a growing awareness of its negative impact on my mood and behavior. While it may bring joy to others, I found that it did not enhance my happiness. By refraining from drinking, I have experienced greater peace and clarity in social situations, allowing me to focus on more fulfilling aspects of life.