The scent of the man seated next to me was overwhelming, and I couldn’t pinpoint what kind of cologne he had chosen. But honestly, it didn’t matter; anything that emits a strong odor in a confined space should never be deemed worthy of a positive label.
I contemplated addressing the issue with him. I pondered the most tactful approach, only to realize that no words would suffice. Anyone who steps into a crowded airplane and imposes their scent on everyone within a ten-foot radius must be lacking in self-awareness. Perhaps their oblivion is subtle, fooling even close friends and family. Yet, a person who douses themselves in cologne is likely exhibiting some form of control, possibly even sadism.
As I stared at the back of his head, I wondered what had motivated him that morning to slather on a pungent fragrance for public display. I thought about creating T-shirts that read “COLOGNE RUINS MY PRIVATE BREATHING EXPERIENCE” or “IF YOU’RE WEARING COLOGNE, PLEASE KEEP YOUR DISTANCE—STARTING WITH ME.” Perhaps a succinct “COLOGNE: NOT WELCOME” would do the trick.
The cologne industry is a lucrative business, raking in nearly a billion dollars in 2013, according to NPD Group. Shockingly, 72% of adult men who wear fragrances began using them before the age of 17. While a complete ban on cologne seems far-fetched, perhaps we should advocate for fragrance education in schools.
On a brighter note, 37% of American men choose not to wear cologne. If you belong to this group, please consider informing your friends and family members who do wear it that they might be causing discomfort for others and could possibly be viewed as sociopaths. I would happily sit behind you on a flight, share an elevator, or even stroll past you on a warm summer day.
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Summary:
This piece humorously critiques the experience of sitting next to someone with overpowering cologne on an airplane. It discusses the broader implications of fragrance use, the industry’s financial success, and advocates for awareness about scent in public spaces. The article suggests that men who don’t wear cologne should encourage their fragrance-wearing counterparts to consider the discomfort they may be causing others.