Engaging in a stimulating discussion with my friend Alex led me to consider meditation as a valuable practice. In my upcoming book on habits, Before and After, I delve into this experience more fully. Alex’s insightful and humorous exploration of meditation in his book, 10% Happier: How I Conquered the Inner Critic, Reduced Stress, and Discovered Practical Self-Help, is set to be released next month.
Knowing Alex’s thoughtful approach to the connection between habits and happiness made me eager to hear his insights. He posed a simple question: What habit consistently boosts your happiness? To my surprise, I found myself answering… meditation.
I had previously thought of meditation as something reserved for eccentric gurus or devoted fans of soothing new age music. However, I soon discovered a wealth of scientific research outlining its myriad health benefits, including lowering blood pressure and enhancing brain function for greater happiness. I realized that meditation didn’t require sitting cross-legged, lighting incense, or chanting in another language. I even compiled simple meditation guidelines for those interested.
I began with just five minutes a day and quickly noticed three key improvements:
- Enhanced concentration,
- A deeper sense of tranquility, and
- A remarkable ability to interrupt negative thoughts and focus on the present moment.
Over the past four years, I’ve gradually increased my practice to 35 minutes daily, resulting in a significant shift in my relationship with the inner voice we all experience. You know the one—it’s the voice that leads us to mindlessly snack when we’re not hungry, distracts us during conversations, or causes us to lose our cool only to regret it later. Gaining the ability to observe my thoughts without reacting impulsively—a skill often referred to as “mindfulness”—has felt transformative.
While I certainly don’t claim that meditation is a cure-all (I still have my moments, as my partner will confirm), it has undoubtedly contributed to my overall sense of happiness and calmness. So much so, I even wrote a book aimed at making meditation appealing to a broader audience, titled 10% Happier.
Reflecting on what I’ve learned about establishing healthy habits since my teenage years, I realize how little I understood back then. A neuroscientist friend once told me, “The brain is a pleasure-seeking machine,” meaning we often gravitate toward what feels good. The core lesson I’ve grasped is that I can’t form or break habits without self-interest—if a change doesn’t benefit me, I’m unlikely to stick with it. For instance, my initial motivation to meditate stemmed from its proven benefits, and I’ve maintained the practice because I clearly see its positive effects beyond the cushion.
Do I struggle with habits that detract from my happiness? Absolutely. Two major culprits are multitasking and mindless eating. Despite knowing the evidence that our brains can only focus on one task at a time, I often find myself juggling emails, social media, and other responsibilities. Additionally, I have a weakness for comfort foods, and when I indulge, it can lead to overwhelming regret.
In my hectic work environment, especially during breaking news coverage, the inner critic often becomes more harsh, prompting binge eating episodes. Despite this, I thrive on the adrenaline of my work, leading to a challenging balance.
Have I ever made a sudden, impactful change to a habit? Interestingly, during the summer after high school, I had a moment of clarity while driving. I resolved to commit fully to my studies, which resulted in a significant improvement in my academic performance. Though this change didn’t directly influence my career in television news, it instilled a lasting work ethic that has shaped my life.
Another significant influence on my habits has been my partner, Lily. We motivate each other towards healthier choices, such as nutritious eating. A crucial lesson I’ve learned from her is the importance of kindness. I once had a habit of being curt with service workers, but through her compassionate approach and a newfound interest in compassion meditation, I’ve made it a priority to be kinder and more considerate of others.
Ultimately, not being a jerk has become one of the most rewarding habits I’ve developed. Meditation has proven to be a powerful tool for mental exercise, allowing us to reshape our personalities for the better. As a sign in my favorite record store once stated, “All dates can change. So can you.”
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Summary:
Meditation has significantly altered my relationship with my inner voice, enhancing my focus, calmness, and self-awareness. While I still face challenges like multitasking and unhealthy eating, the practice has led to a happier and kinder version of myself. Influences from my partner and moments of clarity have shaped my habits, emphasizing the power of mindfulness and the importance of self-interest in establishing positive changes.