Every parenting site you visit claims, “The average woman gains 25 lbs or less during her pregnancy.” Then you flip through a parenting magazine and see the chiseled abs of celebrities like Mia Carter, Sarah Jenkins, or Laura Fisher, who tout that it only took a little nursing and a baby jogger to reclaim their pre-baby figures. After you toss the magazine in frustration and devour a chocolate donut, your next mission is to shed that baby weight. It may feel more challenging than childbirth, but by sticking to these 12 easy steps, you too can impress fellow moms at the park with your transformation.
Step 1: Start by Gaining Weight
To claim, “I lost 75 lbs,” you first need to gain 75 lbs. It’s all about perspective.
Step 2: Sign Up for a Gym
Motivating yourself to go back to spin class or lunge-squats can be tough, especially when sitting down is a painful reminder of your post-baby body. Let’s be real; finding time to go regularly is nearly impossible. But hey, just walking to the registration desk burns a few calories—once.
Step 3: Cut Out the Junk Food
Now’s your chance to ditch all those unhealthy snacks you indulged in during pregnancy. Say goodbye to cream cheese-topped eggs and candy bar-stuffed cereal.
Step 4: Embrace Breastfeeding
Breastfeeding can help you burn off those extra calories from your indulgent snacks—just think of it as a calorie-sucking succubus.
Step 5: Forget About Scheduling
In the chaos of sleepless nights with a newborn, you might find it hard to locate the fridge, let alone eat healthily.
Step 6: Implement the “Arm’s Reach” Diet
When your little one dozes off on your lap, you’ll be limited to snacking on whatever’s within reach. Some days it might be leftover candy corn, other days just dust bunnies. All of this can lead to weight loss.
Step 7: Assemble Furniture After the Baby Arrives
Putting together baby furniture is a Herculean task that will leave you feeling sore and possibly trim your waistline in the process.
Step 8: Avoid Buying New Clothes
It might not be the best idea, but wearing clothes that no longer fit can motivate you to lose weight. Just try not to wear those comfy maternity pants forever.
Step 9: Use a Rubber Band on Your Wrist
Whenever you feel the urge to snack on something unhealthy, stretch the rubber band to remind yourself: it’s time to stop. The pressure will help distract you from reaching for those treats.
Step 10: Hang Out with Fitness Buffs
Surrounding yourself with friends who run half-marathons will encourage you to get up and join them—even if it’s just for a celebratory beer post-race.
Step 11: Keep Company with Unhealthy Friends
Find friends who might be a bit under the weather or dealing with a cold. When you’re too unwell to eat, the pounds might just disappear.
Step 12: Consider Having Another Baby
This won’t help you lose the baby weight, but it gives you an excuse to once again enjoy those cream cheese eggs and elastic pants.
If you’re looking for more insights on the journey to motherhood, check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination at Facts About Fertility. For some quick exercises that can fit into your busy schedule, visit Quick Exercises. And if you’re navigating your fertility journey, consider reading our post on Couples Fertility Journey for Intracervical Insemination.
In summary, losing the baby weight can be a daunting task, but with the right mindset and a sprinkle of humor, you can work towards reclaiming your body. From adjusting your diet to finding the right support system, these twelve steps offer a light-hearted approach to a serious journey.