From the moment of your arrival into this world, you are subjected to a series of measurements and comparisons against an elusive standard of “normal.” Your growth is tracked on a graph of percentiles, and your results, which are reduced to numbers, come to define your identity. The space between who you truly are and that invisible norm is where many of us find ourselves, expending precious years trying to bridge the gap from our authentic selves to the expectations we believe we must meet.
The desire to fit into this “normal” mold often isn’t driven by us—it’s influenced by others. Parents, healthcare providers, and even peers may hold expectations that weigh heavily on our self-perception. If you don’t align with these standards, you might find yourself on a path toward “fixing” whatever it is that makes you feel out of place, even if there’s nothing wrong with you to begin with. You may hear phrases like, “You’re here,” accompanied by a finger pointing to a solitary place on a chart, followed by, “But you should be here,” as if your value can be quantified and compared.
We internalize these metrics, often mistakenly believing they reflect our worth. This leads us to adjust our self-image based on societal standards, inadvertently perpetuating a cycle where we raise our children within this flawed framework. Although this notion of “normal” is merely a construct, fear drives us to accept it as reality, compelling us to conform to an idea of what it means to be human, leaving many of us feeling inadequate.
As individuals, our lives are as complex and mysterious to others as they are to ourselves. We often fall into the trap of comparing our experiences with those of others, leading us to feel as though we are less capable of being “normal.” With no other reference points, we look outward, adopting the experiences of others as our benchmarks for what is acceptable behavior or achievement. This habit fosters a mindset where we view ourselves through the lens of what we perceive to be abnormal.
We can become trapped by our beliefs about ourselves and others, unaware of how misguided those assumptions may be. The fear of judgment and criticism can deter us from being authentic, making honesty feel like a risky endeavor. To pretend to be something we’re not is to reinforce the very standards of normalcy that undermine the richness of human diversity. The truth is, there is no singular way to be, and denying our unique selves diminishes our humanity and hinders our personal growth.
Our differences are what truly define us, and the only universal aspect of being human is the fascinating variety among us. Embracing these differences is what makes our existence genuinely “normal.”
For those interested in exploring family building options, check out our resource on fertility journeys, including home insemination kits at Make a Mom. Additionally, if you want to learn more about professional guidance in this area, visit Ava Johnson, a licensed midwife and certified professional midwife. For a comprehensive overview of IVF and related treatments, the NHS offers excellent information.
In summary, our struggle with the concept of “normal” often leads us to question our worth and how we fit into a predefined mold. The journey of self-acceptance involves recognizing that our differences are what define us, making every individual unique and valuable.