If you find yourself drawn to the familiar scenes of a 9 p.m. police procedural, you might be experiencing a case of petechial hemorrhagitis. This term describes that urge for a one-hour thrill filled with intense cases, attractive detectives, and forensics that resolve in mere minutes—always resulting in a neat conclusion. This tidy resolution serves as a delightful escape from the complexities of daily life, whether it’s juggling work, family responsibilities, or the stress of bills. If you love shows like Castle, CSI, or The Closer, here’s a handy guide to help you speak the lingo of your favorite cop dramas:
- Petechial Hemorrhaging
This medical term refers to tiny red or purple spots on the skin, caused by ruptured capillaries. In forensic terms, it can indicate strangulation. On TV, this phrase often serves as the pivotal clue that propels the investigation forward, simplifying what’s actually a complex medical issue into a digestible sound bite for viewers. - LUDs
LUDs, or Local Usage Details, are akin to magical breadcrumbs left by a suspect’s phone records. These details often lead detectives to uncover a burner phone, an affair, or even an illegitimate child. However, accessing these records usually requires a warrant—something that’s often conveniently overlooked in fictional narratives. - Vic/Perp
Short for victim and perpetrator, these terms are frequently used in cop shows. The victim often leads a secret life, while the perpetrator is usually the first recognizable guest star to appear during the investigation. - “Have uniforms canvass the block.”
Canvassing involves officers knocking on doors to gather information from potential witnesses. More often than not, these individuals will claim to have seen nothing—unless, of course, it’s a wealthy character making a racist comment, which somehow becomes relevant. - “Run it through the system.” (“We got a hit.”)
The system might refer to databases like AFIS or CODIS, and it usually results in a quick match—often to a suspect’s former cellmate. In reality, this process can take days and involves extensive human interaction, but that’s not the case in the world of scripted dramas. - “Put out a BOLO”
A BOLO, or Be on the Lookout, alerts officers about a suspect’s appearance. While it sounds official, it’s merely an acronym, leaving some viewers wishing for something more dramatic. - Rigor/Time of Death
Rigor mortis helps establish a victim’s time of death, which is crucial for piecing together a timeline. This often leads to surprising revelations about the relationships surrounding the victim. - GSR/GSW
Gunshot residue (GSR) is found on a suspect’s hands, while a gunshot wound (GSW) is how many characters meet their demise. However, shows often prefer more dramatic methods of murder to keep audiences engaged. - A Partial
This refers to a partial fingerprint left by a suspect, who usually has a prior conviction that connects them to the case—though they often have a solid alibi that clears them from direct involvement. - The Feds/Local PD
There’s an apparent rivalry between federal agents and local police, with each side often looking down on the other. This dynamic serves as a backdrop for tension throughout various shows. - Unsub
Short for unknown subject, this term became popular through the series Criminal Minds. It adds an air of mystery to the investigation, distinguishing it from the more common “perp.” - Tox Screen
A toxicology screening reveals substances in a deceased person’s body. In real life, these tests take weeks, but on-screen, results are often available almost immediately—much to the frustration of those familiar with the actual process. - Blood Spatter
Contrary to the neatly organized blood patterns often depicted on-screen, real-life crime scenes are usually chaotic, making the actual analysis of blood spatter far more complicated. - “Stop. Right there. Can you get in closer?”
The classic line that leads to a suspect’s identification from grainy video footage is often far-fetched. In reality, enhancing low-quality footage is not as straightforward as depicted in cop shows.
This overview offers just a glimpse into the captivating world of police procedurals. Now that you’re armed with essential terminology, grab the remote and enjoy your next binge-watch session. And remember, even if you don’t recall all the jargon, the bad guy is sure to be caught in the end (unless they become a recurring villain, complicating the hero’s life further).
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Summary: Understanding cop shows involves familiarizing yourself with common terminology and tropes, from forensic terms to police procedures. This knowledge enhances your viewing experience and adds depth to the often dramatized portrayals of law enforcement.