Let’s face it: the standards of modern etiquette are plummeting. Blame it on smartphones, social media, or the Millennial generation glued to their devices.
During our last gathering, we invited 30 guests. Just two replied promptly to decline—off on a trip. From the remaining 28, 13 decided to RSVP the day before, confirming their attendance, while four opted out. Four others sent texts the morning of the event with a last-minute yes. One person even messaged during the party to say, “Hey, I can’t make it,” as if he were escaping from a chaotic situation and simply lost his momentum. The rest? We never heard from them again; perhaps they vanished completely.
This lack of response drives me crazy. I put considerable effort into planning these events: cleaning my home, hiding embarrassing prescriptions (which I can never find again), and ensuring everything is in order. I scrub the soap dish and the shower curtain—I mean, who wants a bathroom that resembles a chocolate factory gone awry?
The most challenging part, however, is preparing the food. I’ve dealt with entire hams left uneaten, decorative legs of lamb abandoned, and boxes of stale Christmas cookies. I’ve run out of snacks within the first hour of hosting, as everyone suddenly decides that they want to join the fun! I’ve come to terms with this chaotic reality; it’s just how modern entertaining operates now—like a flash mob.
How Can Hosts Navigate This Landscape?
So, how can hosts navigate this landscape? We still crave the joy of gathering, despite friends’ uncertainty about weekend plans. (Confession: I often don’t know my weekend plans until the last moment either). But wouldn’t it be nice to have a headcount—or at least some acknowledgment of who’s coming? There’s nothing more disheartening than a lonely feast.
To find some answers, I spoke with Jenna Blake, an expert cook and author of The Timeless Meal, who possesses the effortless charm that many of us could learn from.
I asked her, “Can you suggest a way to adapt to this new RSVP reality so we can continue to host without losing our minds?”
“Well,” she replied, “first, work on increasing your RSVP rate. I ensure high attendance by creating excitement in my invitations. Make it sound like a must-attend event, perhaps with dancing bears or a circus theme. Raise the stakes! Use vivid details about the menu, the wine selection, and set the stage for imagination—maybe even a little exaggeration for effect.”
Perfect! So, fizzy wine and lively entertainment are key. But what about food prep? What if I’m left with a mountain of leftovers?
“Out with the fancy fish, in with the sausages,” Jenna advised. “Those elaborate dinner parties don’t work anymore. Recently, a dinner meant for six quickly turned into 13 guests. I made a quick bike run to the butcher for sausages, which saved the day. Now, I focus on dishes that freeze well. Braises, picnic-style platters, charcuterie, cheeses, and breads are my go-to items.”
Noted! Stock up on sausages, ham, and rolls that can either be frozen or adjusted based on the number of guests. Maybe I’ll even host a pulled-pork gathering!
Handling Emotional Frustration
Finally, I asked Jenna how to handle the emotional frustration that often accompanies these modern RSVP challenges. She paused thoughtfully and said, “If the last-minute RSVPs upset you, you might want to reassess your priorities. Life has its bumps, and if you can maintain a positive attitude, it might inspire others to do the same.”
In conclusion, navigating the etiquette of RSVPs in today’s social climate can be tricky. By adjusting expectations, planning versatile menus, and maintaining a positive outlook, hosts can adapt to the ever-changing landscape of entertaining.
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Summary
In today’s fast-paced, tech-driven world, RSVP etiquette has taken a hit. Many hosts struggle with last-minute responses and the unpredictability of guest attendance. Expert advice from seasoned hosts suggests raising excitement in invitations, adjusting menus to be more flexible, and maintaining a positive attitude about the chaos of modern entertaining.