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The Tenets of Toddler Society

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At home Insemination Blog
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Parenting

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Updated: March 19, 2015

Originally Published: Aug. 1, 2014

Welcome to Toddler Society, where the adults are merely spectators.

  1. 1st Commandment of Toddler Society – Discussing Toddler Society is strictly prohibited.
  2. 2nd Commandment of Toddler Society – See Commandment One.
  3. 3rd Commandment of Toddler Society – Resist entering the bath at all costs. Once submerged, vehemently oppose leaving.
  4. 4th Commandment of Toddler Society – When questioned, the response is an unwavering no. The sole exception occurs when asked, “Would you like a treat?”
  5. 5th Commandment of Toddler Society – Bedtime is a myth. Pose a question. Then ask a dozen more. Insist on water. Declare a need to use the potty. Request a tissue. Demand a story. Seek a new pillow. New pajamas? Yes, please. A back rub? Certainly! Just never, ever go to sleep.
  6. 6th Commandment of Toddler Society – If a sibling is upset, amplify the noise to maximum chaos.
  7. 7th Commandment of Toddler Society – If spaghetti is served, request pizza. If pizza arrives, then demand spaghetti with equal fervor.
  8. 8th Commandment of Toddler Society – Clothing? Only when asked repeatedly (and even then, maybe not).
  9. 9th Commandment of Toddler Society – Dinner is breakfast, and breakfast is dinner. Do not be misled.
  10. 10th Commandment of Toddler Society – If Mom says no, consult Dad. If Dad also says no, inform Mom that Dad agreed.
  11. 11th Commandment of Toddler Society – Do not prioritize getting food into your mouth. Your outfit is starving too.
  12. 12th Commandment of Toddler Society – Everything with a crust is suspect. Rinds are not allies.

In each other we trust,

Toddler Management

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Summary: Toddler Society operates under a unique set of rules that defy adult logic. From bedtime negotiations to food requests, these little ones have their own agenda. Understanding their quirky commandments can make parenting a little easier and much more entertaining.

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