Parenting
By Jennifer B. Katz
Updated: Dec. 18, 2015
Originally Published: July 31, 2014
Not too long ago—well, two years, but in the world of parenting, that feels like a lifetime—my partner, Mark, and I had a delightful Sunday tradition. Each week, we would hire a babysitter to watch our then 3-year-old daughter, Mia, from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. During that time, we would indulge in brunch, stroll hand in hand through our Brooklyn neighborhood, play Frisbee with our dog, and, most importantly, reconnect after a chaotic week filled with work and the needs of others.
Those three hours felt like pure magic; at 1 p.m. sharp, we’d relieve the babysitter, tuck Mia in for her afternoon nap, and retreat to the bedroom for some much-needed intimacy. Those were the days—until the inevitable happened: Mia outgrew her naps, and our little escape plan was derailed.
Fast forward to a few years later. Mia is now 5 and in kindergarten at our local public school. Both Mark and I have transitioned into freelance work from home, trying to maximize productivity before her 2:45 p.m. dismissal, at which point one of us takes over parenting duties. Finances are tight, but we cherish the time we get to spend with Mia… when school is in session. The challenge arises during breaks.
As Mia’s spring break approached this past April, dread settled in. We couldn’t afford a family getaway or extra babysitting services, and all of our usual evening sitters had daytime jobs. We were facing an entire week with Mia at home—yikes!
In a desperate attempt to fill the week, we scrambled to organize playdates and find new movies for her to enjoy on Netflix. Just then, an email from her school popped up: they were offering a spring break camp. Excitement buzzed among the other parents as they shared which days they would sign their kids up for. “Emma’s going to the Zoo on Tuesday, Bowling on Thursday, and Movie Friday!” one mom wrote. I decided we could stretch our budget for two days.
Mia chose Arts & Crafts Wednesday, a day filled with creative activities (her absolute favorite), a trip to a nearby playground, and planting in the school’s fantastic garden, which sealed the deal for her. However, by the time I registered her, the bowling option had filled up. I ended up paying $90 for Wednesday, relieved that Mia could enjoy at least one day of excitement.
Then it hit me—Mark and I deserved a day of fun too. After all, it was spring break. I told him to clear his schedule for a “Foreplay Day Date” on Wednesday.
When spring break finally arrived, after two days with Mia at home, we were all ready for her camp. But as we arrived at the school, several things felt…off.
For starters, while the main entrance was open, there were no signs indicating where the camp was located or even acknowledging it existed.
Mark chuckled, “Do you think the camp is at another location?”
“I doubt it,” I replied. We bumped into another dad and his daughter, equally bewildered.
We followed distant laughter and sounds to the cafeteria, where an uninspired woman handed us a clipboard to sign Mia in before walking away.
“Shouldn’t there be a camp counselor?” Mark whispered.
“Maybe one of the adults in the back?” I glanced at the few adults scattered around, not engaging with the handful of kids already present.
In front of us were four stations of basic activities: crayons and paper, sticks with marshmallows, Legos, and dolls.
I silently prayed: Please let this be some temporary setup until the real activities start with a proper counselor leading the kids in the promised arts and crafts and garden fun.
With forced enthusiasm, we encouraged Mia, “Look! Crayons and paper! How about you draw something?” Mia sat down reluctantly. We hugged her goodbye, and it seemed no adult even noticed when we slipped away.
Once outside, I sighed, “That was pretty depressing.”
Mark took my hand, “Mia will be fine.”
“You do realize that any stranger could wander in and take a child from that room, and no one would even notice?”
“After everything we’ve done for her, she can handle one long day. Trust me.”
With that, we left our guilt behind and embraced our day date. We strolled, enjoyed breakfast, and popped open a bottle of prosecco we had bought for the occasion before heading back to our bedroom.
As with all babysitting or daycare arrangements, the hours flew by, and before we knew it, it was time to pick Mia up. At least now we knew where to go.
Mia ran to us, “Mommy! Daddy!” We enveloped her in a hug. Before we left, she waved goodbye to Elly, a new friend she had made while playing with dolls.
Once outside, I asked, “So, how was it?”
She sighed dramatically, “It wasn’t very fun.” I felt deflated. “Why not?”
“Yeah,” Mark chimed in, “you made a new friend, right?”
“Well, we didn’t get to plant anything, or do arts and crafts.”
“Did you at least go to the playground?”
“Yeah,” she replied, with little enthusiasm as we crossed the street. “It just felt like a really, really long day.”
A wave of post-afternoon guilt washed over me, and I mentally drafted a complaint email for a refund. Yet by dinner, Mia had bounced back, and I figured the school, despite this day, still deserved the payment since they were generally excellent.
Today marks the start of Mia’s summer break—eight weeks of freedom. However, this time, she will attend camp for the month of July. It’s her first experience, and I’m confident she’ll love it—not just because it’s not in her school’s cafeteria, but because we attended their open house and it was impressive.
Next April, when first-grade spring break rolls around, Mia will still go to the school’s camp, but with three key changes:
- I’ll sign her up faster than a hot knife through butter.
- I’ll ensure she only participates in field trip days.
- I’ll buy two bottles of prosecco instead of one.
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Summary:
This article reflects on the challenges of parenting while trying to maintain a romantic connection, focusing on a couple’s experience during their daughter’s spring break. They grapple with feelings of guilt after sending their daughter to camp, only to discover it didn’t meet their expectations. Ultimately, they learn to prioritize their relationship while navigating the ups and downs of parenthood.