To my beloved children,
I want to take a moment to express my sincere apologies for the upheaval caused by our divorce. It weighs heavily on my heart that I’ve disrupted your sense of home and stability. While I believe this change was ultimately necessary, I recognize that you would prefer a household filled with tension over living separately without it. You may not realize how I was struggling to simply exist in the old environment, but I want you to know that your well-being has always been my priority. I’m truly sorry that you, at ages 7 and 10, desire nothing more than to see your mom and dad together.
I regret the necessity of moving between two homes. Each weekend when I pack your belongings—clothes, toys, and essentials—it’s a stressful experience. I know that you handle this situation with remarkable grace, never complaining as you transition from one place to another. Yet, I understand how tiring it must be for you, constantly on the move. This was a situation of my making, and for that, I am truly sorry.
I also apologize for the awkwardness of seeing your father and me in new relationships. While it’s important for you to witness healthy partnerships, I understand that seeing us with someone else can feel deeply uncomfortable. The idea of your parents showing affection to others is something I regret putting you through.
Even though your father and I strive to keep you out of our conflicts, the reality is that divorce places you directly in the middle. When you share your joyful moments with your dad, I sense that you might feel a hint of guilt, and that breaks my heart. It’s tough navigating these mixed emotions, and I wish it could be simpler for you.
I know you sometimes feel lonely at bedtime, miss your dad when we’re away, and have to explain to your friends that you live in two homes. Every holiday split and every message you carry between us weighs heavily on you. You shouldn’t have to feel torn between your parents. I know how important it is for you to have time with both of us, and I’m sorry that you don’t have the flexibility to enjoy that time fully. When you expressed your sadness about only having one dinner a year with your dad and sister, it hit me hard—I can’t help but feel regret for this limited time together.
Most of all, I want to acknowledge that I’ve never experienced the challenges of being a child of divorce. I understand feelings of exclusion, insecurity, and the desire for connection. However, I cannot fully grasp what you are going through. I will always do my best to empathize with your experiences and walk alongside you on this journey, but I recognize that my understanding of your pain is limited. The word “sorry” feels inadequate for the hurt I’ve caused.
I hold onto hope that this challenging experience will be just one part of your life and that your future paths will be smoother. Each lesson learned through this struggle will become woven into who you are, helping you develop compassion and a broader perspective. You will see your parents not just as caregivers, but as individuals, and this will enrich your understanding of relationships.
While I carry immense guilt for the difficulties you face, my love for you far outweighs it. I am steadfast in my belief that this choice, though painful, is the best one for our family.
Please know that I am deeply sorry for all the challenges you are enduring.