A friend recently playfully pointed out how challenging it has become to connect over the phone since we both transitioned into motherhood. While she was joking, it struck a chord with me. Pre-baby, I was the one excitedly saying, “Hey, (insert name), want to chat for a while about anything?” Now, I find myself rushing through calls, or whispering because my little one is either awake and needs my attention or napping, and I’m tiptoeing around hoping her rest lasts longer than 20 minutes.
I genuinely want to catch up with everyone, to chat about life, daily happenings, and what they had for lunch. But alas, my tiny, toothless companion has her own agenda. Here are the reasons I can’t take your call right now:
- I was about to call, but then my baby had a major spit-up incident. Cleaning that mess led me to notice the floors were filthy, and I couldn’t let her crawl on that. So, I ended up mopping, and by the time I was finished, she was crying because her world was disrupted for ten whole minutes.
- The baby is napping right now, giving me a rare window of 30 minutes to an hour. This time is supposed to be for showering, tackling laundry, tidying up toys, and paying bills. Instead, I find myself sulking on the couch, frustrated that I can’t even call my friends.
- It’s nighttime, and the baby is finally asleep. All I want to do is unwind with some mindless TV. Even making a call to discuss our favorite shows feels like too much mental effort.
- I planned to reach out, but I got caught up in my to-do list. Now it’s 10 PM, and I need to get to bed before the baby wakes up for her midnight snack.
- Social media happened. Facebook, Instagram, or a celebrity gossip site has a way of pulling me in.
- I opted for a moment of quiet instead of a phone call, relishing the rare peace.
- My husband also wants some quality time. I made a commitment to him (there was jewelry involved, so it’s serious), and it feels wrong to ignore that.
- I can’t even remember where I put my phone.
- My boss, in this case, is my baby. She demands constant attention: “Play with me! Sing to me! Take me out for walks!” Balancing work and life is a myth, and the toothless one always wins.
- Honestly, I’m just too tired and feel like I have nothing of interest to share. This combination leads to conversations like this:
You: Hey! How’s it going?
Me: Good, you?
You: Great! What’s new?
Me: Not much. You?
You: (Insert fascinating updates here)
Me: Sounds good!
You: (More exciting news)
Me: That’s awesome!
You: Gotta go, talk later!
Me: Bye!
You: (Thinking: Has she always been this dull?)
Me: (Thinking: C’mon, I’m not that boring! I need to do better.)
And honestly, I value our friendship too much to subject you to that.
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In summary, as a new mom, my priorities have shifted dramatically, making it difficult to maintain phone conversations. While I long to connect, my little one’s needs often come first, and I find myself juggling multiple tasks, leaving little room for casual chats.