Last summer, my eight-year-old son, Max, embarked on his first adventure away from home, spending a week at summer camp. Just an hour after I dropped him off, I felt an overwhelming sense of longing. By bedtime, I found myself wandering into his room, desperately trying to feel connected to him.
As the days crept by, I penned letters to him each day, anxiously awaiting the arrival of the mailman, hoping for a glimpse of his handwriting. My imagination ran wild as I envisioned his response. I pictured an enthusiastic letter that might read something like this:
Dear Mom,
Thank you for sending me to camp! I’m learning so many amazing things—like how to catch a fish, tie sailing knots, and care for horses. Your sunscreen was brilliant because I’ve spent plenty of time on the lake. You really think of everything! I’m also drinking loads of water since it’s super hot outside. See? I really do pay attention to your advice.
The other boys in my cabin are great! I’m making friendships that will last a lifetime. We’ve been singing camp songs, playing cards, and even catching frogs during our free time. During quiet hours, I read the book you sent. Fantastic choice!
I’m trying lots of new foods, just like you suggested. And you were right—the oatmeal at breakfast is actually pretty good with raisins. Don’t worry, Mom; I’m using all the manners you taught me.
Tonight, we’re camping under the stars, and I can’t wait to see fireflies!
Love you lots,
Max xoxo
P.S. Tell my brothers I miss them!
The following day, I received a letter from Max. While it was a bit different from my daydreams, it was certainly memorable:
Dear Mom,
Thanks for packing extra underwear—had a little incident with diarrhea, but it didn’t get on my pillow. Camp is fun! I’m awesome at windsurfing and kayaking. I’ve eaten 23 push-pops since Monday, and I’m determined to beat the record of 37!
During horseback riding, the horse in front of me had three massive poops. It was hilarious! Oh, I used my toothbrush to dig for worms. Don’t freak out; the kid below me lent me his—it’s totally safe. I don’t even know his name, but he can burp the alphabet like I can. There’s also a kid named Zack who can burp it backward. I’m working on that.
We played a prank and put oatmeal in the counselor’s baseball cap. Oatmeal is gross, even with raisins!
I shot a rifle and I’m pretty good at aiming. Can we get one when I come home? Oh, and did you know you can light farts on fire? I’ll show you on Saturday.
Love,
Max xoxo
P.S. Your spaghetti is way better!
P.P.S. Tell my brothers to save up their farts for Saturday.
This year, I’m sending him a whole book of stamps to camp. I can’t wait to see what he writes next!
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Summary:
This heartfelt reflection on a mother’s experience with her son’s first summer camp reveals the stark contrast between her expectations and the reality of his adventures. Through amusing anecdotes and a candid letter, it highlights the joys and challenges of childhood, while also encouraging engagement with various resources related to home insemination and fertility.