In today’s digital age, it’s astonishing how freely people express their opinions, often without any understanding of the complexities involved. A simple comment on a mutual friend’s social media post can spark a wave of judgment and shaming. To all the critics out there: I refuse to accept your shame.
I am planning to have a scheduled C-section for my upcoming baby, just as I did with my first child. And let me be clear: this does not diminish my capabilities as a mother. While it’s true that the rate of C-sections is high and we could do better in supporting women who wish to deliver vaginally, the reasons behind each woman’s choice are deeply personal and not up for debate.
Let Me Share My Story
When I was pregnant with my first child, I presented an ideal birth plan to my doctor during our 35-week appointment, envisioning a natural delivery with minimal intervention. However, an ultrasound revealed that my son, whom I named Leo, was not only breech but also in a “jackknife” position—his small bottom lodged by my left hip and his head near my right ribs. It was clear that he was not going to make his way out naturally.
I tried everything to encourage him to shift. I even laid on an ironing board with my head down and my legs in the air, using a pack of frozen peas on his head, hoping the cold would coax him into a different position. But he was stuck. I will never forget the serious expression on my doctor’s face during that ultrasound when she quietly informed me that I would need a C-section. My partner, Alex, and I exchanged a sigh of relief when she reassured us that our baby was fine, just unable to move. Our immediate reaction was a simple, “Oh, is THAT all?”
The experience of my C-section was intense; it felt like a scene from a dramatic film. Two nurses had to climb onto the operating table to assist in extracting my very stuck baby. Yet, despite the challenges and struggles of that surgery, some of you choose to judge. You may assume that my doctor was taking the easy way out, but you lack the context of the situation. When Alex asked our doctor what would have happened to us in earlier times without modern medicine, she quietly replied, “They both would have died in labor.” All you see is “scheduled C-section” and leap to conclusions.
When I became pregnant with my second child, I went into labor at 29 weeks—the same gestational age I am now. I spent time in and out of the hospital, on bed rest, and taking medication to halt contractions. When my water broke at 36 weeks, my medical team supported my desire to try for a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). But when the baby began showing signs of distress, my doctor once again recommended a C-section, and I consented.
At this point, I have accepted that any future pregnancies will likely lead to an OR visit. I have undergone two C-sections—one with a traditional incision and one with a singular cut. In my view, risking complications like tearing or hemorrhaging is not worth it, especially when I have two wonderful boys who want their mom around and a baby girl in my womb eager to join us. I don’t believe she cares how she enters the world, as long as she is welcomed with love.
So, to the critics online, I reject your shame. I wouldn’t even be here for my children if it weren’t for that timely scheduled C-section—scheduled just in the nick of time, as my contractions were only two minutes apart when I was checked in with Leo.
We can never truly know the reasons behind someone’s choice to have a C-section, and it’s not our place to judge. The only appropriate response is to celebrate the fact that both mother and baby are safe and healthy. A smile and a congratulations are all that’s needed.
Summary
In this article, the author shares her personal journey regarding scheduled C-sections and addresses the judgment and shame often directed at mothers who choose this method of delivery. She emphasizes the importance of understanding and supporting each woman’s unique circumstances while advocating for kindness over criticism. The narrative highlights the challenges of her own experiences and reassures readers that the health and happiness of both mother and baby are what truly matters.