“Oh my goodness! She is just SO precious!” I can tell immediately which of my three daughters has captivated the woman’s attention without even glancing up from the cereal box in my hands.
“Where does she get that stunning red hair? And those big brown eyes…” Her voice fades as she becomes entranced by my daughter’s remarkable features. “Actually, red hair is a recessive trait, so both my husband and I must have it somewhere in our family tree,” I respond, trying to be polite and act as though I haven’t had this exact conversation just moments earlier—probably with someone in the next aisle. I’m sure I’ll encounter it again before leaving the grocery store. I glance over at my other two daughters, who sport caramel locks and lighter eyes, resembling us more closely. Yet, my middle daughter resembles a cartoon cherub—almost too cute to be real.
From the moment she was born, compliments about her looks began pouring in; the nurses couldn’t stop gushing, and the admiration hasn’t waned since. It follows us everywhere.
- “She’s just… well, I’ve never seen a baby so perfect!”
- “She should really be in a magazine!”
- “She’s definitely the cutest of your kids… and she knows it.”
- “Don’t get me wrong—all your girls are lovely, but that one…”
All three of my daughters have attended the same schools, yet my middle daughter seems to get away with things that the others do not. People judge her character based on her looks, often assuming she’s sweet and clever simply because of her appearance. “What a little darling, and so intelligent!” they exclaim while she’s busy picking her nose in church.
She often lands speaking roles in plays, engages in more conversations, and at blogging events, she’s frequently approached by PR representatives for photos. This is all new to me; having a child whose looks can stop people in their tracks is quite the experience! As Amy Poehler once noted, my strength lies in my personality. During my single days, I would hang out by the restrooms while my friends snagged free drinks, then swoop in as the designated conversationalist to steer the poor guy away.
Don’t get me wrong—being slightly below average in looks has its perks. I developed a strong personality to make friends, my parents never had to worry about unexpected pregnancy announcements during high school, and I’ve likely saved thousands on pageant outfits over the years. But let’s be honest: life tends to be easier for those who are conventionally attractive. Whether it’s dating, making friends, or job hunting—attractive candidates have a significant edge. A 2013 study reported by Business Insider indicated that good-looking job applicants were 24% more likely to receive callbacks for interviews compared to their less attractive counterparts.
However, this beauty has its drawbacks for my daughter. I’ve had people jokingly offer to buy her (which I find amusing, yet on a rough day, I might entertain the thought) and request to take her photo (umm, no thanks). I’ve even caught individuals discreetly filming her (they’ve since been dealt with).
I’m uncertain how to navigate my role as her parent. While I appreciate the compliments, I worry about her developing an inflated ego or, even worse, my other daughters feeling insecure about their own looks. Should I downplay her beauty? “Wow! She’s so cute!” “Meh, I’ve seen better.” Or should I highlight my other daughters’ attributes? “Look at those healthy gums!” But seriously, how do I balance this?
For now, I’ll continue to smile, express gratitude, and explain basic genetics to strangers. One day, though, I’ll teach them how to use teamwork to score free drinks.
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In summary, raising a child who stands out for her beauty presents unique challenges. It’s essential to appreciate her gifts while ensuring that all my children feel valued for who they are, beyond their appearance.