Parenting
The Challenges of Knock-Knock Jokes
by Emily Carter
Updated: March 9, 2021
Originally Published: June 3, 2014
Among the many truths of parenting, the one that resonates most with my family is this: Parenting is a gamble. My partner and I have experimented with various trendy parenting approaches. We embraced the free-spirited natural parenting method. We tried co-sleeping, avoided saying “no,” and even dabbled in spanking, time-outs, and a comprehensive rewards system involving toy cars and sweets for positive behavior.
But now, exhaustion has set in, and our children often team up against us. So, we decided to abandon parenting techniques that only added to our stress. While we don’t resort to spanking, we do occasionally let a curse word slip (okay, more than occasionally) – not directed at the kids, but in response to their antics. If anyone were to be nearby my home between 2:30 PM and 7:30 PM, it might seem like I have a very passionate religious practice.
My four-year-old son, a verbal dynamo, has developed impressive language skills, thanks to our commitment to speaking to him as a person rather than a pet. By the age of two, he was already distinguishing between “May I?” and “Can I?” His expansive vocabulary has amazed family, friends, and even his pediatrician.
So, I was bursting with pride when my little linguist came up with his own rendition of a beloved knock-knock joke in front of Grandma:
Four-Year-Old: “Knock-knock”
Me: “Who’s there?”
Four-Year-Old: “Bitch!”
Me: “What?!”
Four-Year-Old: “You didn’t say knock-knock!”
Me: (stifling laughter and shock while also deeply curious) “Uh, Bitch, er… who?”
Four-Year-Old: “Bitch been knocking out here all day!”
Me: (a mix of horror and amusement)
The original joke he had memorized went like this:
Four-Year-Old: “Knock-knock”
Me: “Who’s there?”
Four-Year-Old: “Ben”
Me: “Ben who?”
Four-Year-Old: “Ben knocking out here all day!”
In the awkward silence that followed, I felt a wave of parenting shame wash over me like never before. I could almost hear Grandma’s thoughts, wondering what chaos unfolds in our home. A flurry of embarrassed explanations ensued.
Later, once we were back in the privacy of our home and the embarrassment had subsided, I recounted this joke to my partner. We both erupted in laughter and learned a valuable lesson about the importance of watching our language around the kids. Now, we still indulge in colorful language, but we save it for after the little ones are tucked in for the night, usually over a glass of wine.
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In summary, parenting can be unpredictable and full of surprises, as illustrated by my son’s humorous yet inappropriate joke. It serves as a reminder of the importance of language in our household and the joy that comes from our children’s unique expressions.