If you could peek inside my uterus, it would probably reveal a blue color scheme with a hint of scruff. Why? Because this baby factory has produced nothing but boys. This reality felt like a cosmic prank, especially since I was always a girly-girl, obsessed with makeup, cute shoes, and the occasional fruity drink. I was definitely not a fan of bugs or worms.
Becoming a mom to boys—whether it’s one or a whole squad—changes you in ways you can’t quite prepare for. While you can definitely hold on to your feminine side, parenting boys introduces a unique set of challenges that require some adjustments. If you’re expecting a baby boy, know someone who is, or have a little one who’s just starting his journey, here’s a curated list of must-dos for moms of boys.
1. Embrace Bath Time
And no, I’m not talking about your own serene bath with candles and luxurious bubbles. I mean you must genuinely enjoy giving baths because boys need them—often! Get ready for splashes, a wet-dog aroma, puddles on the floor, and piles of dirty towels. Once they’re old enough to shower themselves, expect the same chaos, plus the possibility of them using soap like it’s a rare delicacy. (And don’t waste money on fancy body wash!)
2. Find Humor in Farts
Fortunately, I was born with an appreciation for toilet humor, so I’ve navigated this aspect with ease. Boys find farts hilarious, and your reaction can either elevate or diminish the laughter. If you join in on the fun, everyone benefits. However, it’s essential to teach them when it’s appropriate to let one slip—like not during a quiet moment in church or while dining out.
3. Prepare for the Never-Ending Toilet Battles
When I discovered I was having a son, I vowed to teach him proper toilet etiquette—like putting the seat down. Despite my best efforts, one son remembers to put the seat down but forgets to flush, another flushes but leaves the lid open, and they all seem to sprinkle when they tinkle. It’s a constant reminder to aim, flush, and clean up after themselves, which can be utterly exhausting.
4. Rethink Your Views on Safety
Please don’t call child services on me—I’m not advocating for dangerous behavior. But let’s face it, boys are naturally adventurous. They leap off furniture, tumble around, and try to eat dirt. If you have multiple boys, it’s even more chaotic. Just stock up on Band-Aids and learn to look the other way occasionally for your sanity.
5. Expect Drama
I often hear people claim that boys are less dramatic than girls. Seriously? My boys can put on a show! Expect plenty of stomping, door slamming, and even tears over seemingly trivial things—like losing a video game or being assigned “Player 2” on the Xbox. Never let anyone convince you that boys are drama-free!
6. Brace Yourself for Messes
Sometimes, I lose my mind over the state of my house. Boys have a unique talent for turning it into a disaster zone. They track in mud, spill milk, and leave a trail of destruction wherever they go. Despite my constant reminders to keep things tidy, messes seem to multiply, especially when friends come over.
7. Stock Up on Snacks
Initially, I was misled into thinking my boys wouldn’t be big eaters. Then came the day when my twig of an eight-year-old devoured a mountain of scrambled eggs and still wanted more! It seems like they’re always hungry, raiding the fridge and cabinets every few minutes. I’m dreading the teenage years, when I expect our grocery bills to skyrocket even further.
8. Invest in Durable Jeans
I’ve written extensively about the wear and tear on jeans. You’d think denim would be able to withstand anything, but boys have a knack for ruining them in record time. Their adventurous antics often lead to scrapes, rips, and stains that leave me astounded.
9. Get Comfortable with Nudity
I’m not sure how my boys manage to destroy so many pairs of jeans because they seem to prefer being pantsless at home. The moment they walk through the door, off come the clothes. They often lounge around in just their underwear or nothing at all.
10. Accept “The Grab” as the Norm
Yes, I’m talking about the boys’ natural inclination to grab their anatomy. From the moment they’re born, it seems like they can’t help but reach down to check. This behavior continues as they grow. You’ll find yourself uttering phrases like “Stop wrapping your penis around your fork.” It becomes such a common occurrence that you might hardly notice it—too busy cleaning up after them or shopping for new jeans.
In summary, raising boys comes with its unique challenges and quirks. From humor to messes, each day can feel like a whirlwind adventure. For those expecting or parenting little boys, embracing these realities will make your journey smoother. If you’re interested in learning more about parenting techniques, check out helpful resources like Kindbody for pregnancy and home insemination topics, or visit Intracervical Insemination for authoritative advice on safety.