I’ve come across numerous articles in popular parenting magazines that claim many things parents say to their children are wrong. It can be frustrating when these publications make parents feel guilty for expressing normal sentiments. Here’s a rundown of phrases that conventional parenting advice suggests you avoid and the reasoning behind it. While some of these ideas are quite ludicrous, I’ll tackle them head-on.
1. “Excellent work.”
Using praise like “Good job!” or “Way to go!” every time your child achieves something can foster a reliance on external validation rather than intrinsic motivation. It’s better to reserve specific commendations for genuine accomplishments. Instead of a blanket “Awesome game,” try saying, “That was a great pass; I appreciate how you assisted your teammate.”
2. “Practice makes perfect.”
While it’s true that practice enhances skills, this phrase can inadvertently pressure your child to perform at a high level. They may feel inadequate if their hard work doesn’t yield top results. Encourage effort and improvement instead.
3. “You’re fine.”
When your child suffers a minor injury and starts to cry, rushing to reassure them that they’re okay might dismiss their feelings. It’s crucial to help them process their emotions. A simple hug and a comment like, “That was a tough fall,” validates their experience.
4. “Hurry up!”
As your child takes their time with breakfast or dressing, urging them to rush can increase their anxiety. A gentler approach, such as saying, “Let’s speed things up together,” promotes teamwork. You might even turn it into a fun race – “Who can put their socks on first?”
5. “I’m watching my weight.”
If you’re trying to eat healthier, avoid discussing your diet in front of your child. Your comments about weight might contribute to their unhealthy body image. Instead, focus on healthy eating habits and frame exercise as enjoyable, saying, “The weather is lovely; let’s go for a walk.”
6. “We can’t afford that.”
When your child requests the latest toy, saying you can’t afford it may imply financial instability, which can be scary for them. A better response might be, “We’re saving for things that are more important.” This opens up a conversation about budgeting.
7. “Don’t talk to strangers.”
While it’s important for children to be cautious, telling them to avoid strangers can create confusion, especially if a friendly adult approaches. Instead, discuss specific scenarios and encourage them to report any situation that makes them feel uncomfortable.
8. “Be careful.”
When your child is climbing or playing, telling them to be careful might distract them and lead to falls. It’s sometimes better to quietly supervise and let them focus on their activities, allowing them to learn from their experiences.
9. “No dessert until you finish your dinner.”
This phrase often makes dessert more appealing and can reduce the enjoyment of the meal. Instead, say, “Let’s eat our dinner first, then we’ll have dessert.” This subtle change promotes a healthier attitude toward food.
10. “Let me help.”
When your child struggles, it’s natural to want to offer assistance. However, jumping in too quickly can hinder their independence. Instead, encourage their problem-solving skills by asking guiding questions like, “What do you think you should do next?”
As we navigate the challenges of parenting, it’s essential to remember that realistic advice should resonate with busy, stressed-out parents. For more insights on family planning and home insemination, check out our other blog posts, such as this one. For those exploring options, this resource is a great authority on the subject, and for further reading on pregnancy, Healthline offers excellent information.
In summary, while parenting advice can sometimes feel overwhelming and contradictory, it’s important to find a balance that works for you and your family. The key is to engage with your children in ways that foster their independence and emotional well-being.