I adore my pediatrician—a wonderful, sophisticated woman with a French flair and a heart of gold. Before I had insurance, she once accepted hugs as payment, and though she billed me later, she handled my embarrassment with grace. I value her so much that even after moving away from the city, I still endure the long drive to see her twice a year. Yet, there’s something she does that really gets under my skin: at the end of every visit, she asks, in a mix of French and English, when I’ll be giving my daughter a sibling because, apparently, kids need siblings.
To be fair, she’s not alone in this. There’s a phase in every woman’s life, typically in her twenties and thirties, when everyone seems overly concerned with her reproductive choices. Once you’ve had one child, the questions flood in from everyone—from the checkout clerk to distant relatives—about when you’ll be adding more little ones to your family. Since I’ve already had one child and later married my partner, the prevailing question now revolves around when I’ll be bringing more tax deductions into the world. The answer? Never. Not a chance, and I’m seriously considering tattooing my reasons on my forehead to save time.
1. Sleep is Sacred.
This is my top reason for not wanting to buy more baby supplies. I cherish my sleep. It’s so precious to me that I would marry it if I could. My daughter is finally sleeping through the night at age seven, barring the occasional sickness or nightmare, and the thought of starting over with a crying infant makes me feel faint—only a lot of wine can soothe that anxiety. Thank goodness I can sleep it off.
2. Sibling Relationships Are Overrated.
I don’t hate my siblings, but my relationship with them is complicated. I’m estranged from one, another rarely has a phone, and I’m close with only one. People often preach about how wonderful siblings are, but I suspect many are romanticizing their own childhoods. My brother and I didn’t start getting along until adulthood. So far, I’ve only established a solid bond with one out of three siblings—hardly a great track record.
3. Money Matters.
Kids can drain your finances quicker than you might expect. I knew this going in with my first, but I didn’t fully grasp the long-term impact. Diapers, extracurricular activities, and eventually college tuition all add up. When I graduated with a hefty student loan, I promised myself my daughter wouldn’t have to face that. One child can aspire to Harvard; two might have to settle for state school, and three—well, they might need to learn a trade.
4. Pregnancy is Not My Jam.
I can’t stress this enough: I’d rather endure a root canal than go through pregnancy again. The discomfort and challenges of carrying a child are not something I want to relive.
5. I Worry About Favoritism.
I genuinely fear that I would develop favorites or harbor resentment toward a new baby. People assure me that this isn’t true, but I’ve seen how I feel about our dog, who demands constant attention. A baby would be a much larger challenge.
6. My Kid is Fine as Is.
While I don’t believe my child is “terrible,” I think she would thrive as an only child. When her friend visits, she often retreats to her room, preferring solitude over sharing her space. I know that introducing a new baby would disrupt her world in a way that might not be beneficial.
7. No Need for an Heir.
Someone once asked if I was disappointed I didn’t have a son to carry on the family name. I was taken aback; my daughter carries my genes just as well as any boy could. If she chooses a different last name later, I’m certain “Parker” won’t go extinct.
8. I Just Don’t Want To.
I appreciate large families; I grew up with twelve siblings. However, I’ve found what works for my family: a mom, a dad, and one child. Perhaps some view my choice as selfish, but I believe it’s essential that families come in all shapes and sizes.
If I were to have another child, the questions about a third would start before the new baby even outgrew diapers.
In summary, I am content with my decision to stop at one child. My experiences and choices may not align with everyone else’s, but that’s perfectly okay. Family dynamics can vary widely, and what matters most is finding what works for you.