Since Christmas, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol—before that, it was Halloween, and before that, the previous summer. As the time between my drinks stretches, alcohol increasingly feels like a toxin to my system. I’ve made the decision to stop drinking altogether.
My wine-loving friends are likely in shock (and no, it’s not because they’re heavy drinkers). Back in high school, I was the observer while my classmates reveled at parties. I watched the carefree laughter quickly give way to tears and fights, with someone inevitably ending up in the bathroom or worse. Honestly, witnessing such chaos made drinking unappealing to me. I faced my share of teasing for my choices—why was I even at the party if I wasn’t going to drink? Did I think I was better than everyone else?
However, by the end of senior year, peer pressure and curiosity got the better of me, and I jumped into the party scene. For years, I embraced the party lifestyle, indulging to excess and even experiencing the not-so-glamorous side of drinking—including a couple of relationships with alcoholics. Given my family history with alcoholism, I feel fortunate to have emerged relatively unscathed. Once I was done experimenting, I was able to walk away from it all.
As I transitioned into adulthood, I distanced myself from my party-loving friends and settled into a more moderate drinking pattern. With pregnancies and breastfeeding, my alcohol consumption naturally decreased. For years, a couple of glasses of wine on select evenings and the occasional neighborhood gathering marked my drinking habits.
About two years ago, I started writing. Most of my writing sessions took place at night after my children were asleep. I quickly discovered that alcohol did not mix well with my creative process. I swapped evening wine for pouring my thoughts into words. Over time, I lost my taste for wine and the effects it had on me.
I’ve realized that I no longer enjoy intentionally dulling my senses. Life can be challenging enough without adding intoxication to the mix. Plus, I often find myself stumbling through conversations without the help of alcohol, and I prefer to keep my wits about me.
Ironically, I’ve become more socially awkward in gatherings without a drink in hand, and I struggle to avoid saying something regrettable when I do indulge. I get a lot of surprise reactions when I decline a drink, and friends often assume I’m joking when I mention that my cocktail is non-alcoholic. It can feel like being back in high school, where refraining from drinking was often interpreted as judgment.
The significant difference now is my attitude; I don’t care if others think I’m uncool for not drinking. I’m no longer in relationships that could be impacted by my choices. The culture of “mommy needs her sippy cup” is pervasive, often exaggerated for effect. On the flip side, those who abstain for religious or recovery reasons get universal respect, but what about those like me who simply prefer a sober lifestyle? Is anyone else out there choosing to live alcohol-free?
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In conclusion, choosing not to drink has positively impacted my life, allowing me to manage my mood and embrace my social awkwardness without the crutch of alcohol. I’ve learned to find relaxation in other ways, proving that I can unwind without a drink, and enjoy social engagements on my terms.