Updated: Aug. 12, 2015
Originally Published: Jan. 6, 2015
Traveling with a baby can be unpredictable, especially when it comes time for a diaper change. Our little one had a knack for saving up until the most inconvenient moments, resulting in explosive messes that left us scrambling. Below are the seven worst places I’ve ever had to tackle a dirty diaper, each more memorable—and challenging—than the last.
1. The Concrete Bollard
During a sweltering summer road trip from New York to Kentucky, we found ourselves in Pennsylvania with our three-month-old. Suddenly, a noise erupted from the backseat, reminiscent of a metal rod being sucked into an industrial fan. We quickly pulled into an abandoned gas station, only to discover the only changing spot was on a blazing concrete bollard beside the highway. The sun blazed down, and we worried about how quickly our baby might overheat. After a frantic change, we rolled down the windows to let the odor escape, unaware of the chaos waiting for us in Nashville.
2. The East Nashville Encounter
Still on that fateful trip, we drove through East Nashville, known for its sketchy neighborhoods, when we heard a sound like the Hindenburg crash. My spouse, Mike, hastily pulled into a weed-ridden parking lot. While I laid out the changing pad on the pavement, Mike started cleaning up the car, which was sweltering in the July heat. A swarm of mosquitoes descended upon us just as a beat-up Lincoln slowly rolled in, making the situation feel even more tense. Thankfully, the car left soon after spotting our mess, and we hurriedly cleaned up before fleeing to a hotel.
3. The Route 11 Catastrophe
Days later, we found ourselves on Route 11, surrounded by the stunning Shenandoah Valley. We stopped at a charming diner for some fried chicken when disaster struck. Five minutes later, Mike was dumping our baby’s soiled clothes into a dumpster while I wiped down the booth and floor. The kind waitress assured us it was fine, as they were ready to close the family-owned establishment anyway.
4. The Babbling Brook Incident
On another occasion in Woodstock, we rented a “cottage” next to a picturesque stream. Mike was enjoying a peaceful moment with the baby when disaster struck. A gurgling noise caught his attention, but not before realizing the source was a full diaper. In a panic, he lifted the baby without thinking, resulting in a mess that ruined his tan shorts—now destined for the landfill.
5. The Vermont Blowout
The following summer, we enjoyed a serene swim in a Vermont lake, blissfully unaware of the impending diaper blowout. Despite the baby’s regular diaper being soaked with lake water, the change went smoothly. However, when Mike attempted to toss the dirty diaper into a trashcan, he missed spectacularly. The resulting explosion of absorbent material left us stunned, considering a quick getaway.
6. The Small Claims Court Nightmare
A word of advice: avoid small claims court if you can. It’s a dreary place where nothing happens for hours. During one visit, Mike attempted to change the baby in a men’s room that resembled a janitor’s closet. With no changing table available, he placed the baby on the filthy floor while disgruntled litigants walked by, oblivious to the chaos unfolding. The baby found it all amusing, batting at the shoes of those passing by.
7. The Grimy Sidewalk
Lastly, while waiting for a tow in the depths of Queens, we faced another diaper disaster. The sidewalks here are notoriously filthy, and by this point, we were accustomed to the grime. When our baby reached for something that looked suspiciously like broken glass, we merely swatted it away and continued on, completely unfazed.
In summary, diaper changes can happen anywhere, and often in the most unexpected and unfortunate places. From concrete bollards to small claims courts, these experiences are a testament to the wild ride of parenthood. For more tips on managing travel with kids, check out this resource on sleep tips for families traveling with kids. If you’re looking for more about home insemination, visit our at-home insemination kit post, which is an excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination information link to IVF resources.