Can You Estimate the Additional Costs of Being a Woman Compared to a Man?

Grooming Expectations

Adult human female anatomy diagram chart

Let’s take a look at the modern urban playground. The dads are still sporting their old jeans from 2009, paired with t-shirts featuring their favorite ’90s bands; perhaps they last shaved on Tuesday. The moms, while also in jeans and casual tops, tend to have bought a fourth or fifth pair since their first pregnancy. Their blouses are designed to flutter over their post-baby bodies, often featuring asymmetrical cuts to draw attention away from their midsections. Makeup is applied, but only sparingly.

The boys resemble their fathers, clad in (mostly) tidy jeans and sneakers, while the girls, despite being dressed for play, exhibit a greater sense of style. They wear adorable poplin dresses adorned with bicycle prints and matching bloomers, or soft gray dresses complemented by citron leggings and Mary Janes. Typically, boys have short hair, trimmed quickly at the local barbershop for about $15, while girls have longer hair, requiring a $25 visit to a salon where they can sit in a whimsical plastic duck. In my family, my husband and two sons are out the door in about 15 minutes, while I spend 30 to 40 minutes getting ready—those asymmetrical blouses need ironing, and my hair requires some attention to avoid looking disheveled. Meanwhile, my husband fills the wait time with work or guitar practice.

The Financial Impact

Stephen DeLoach, an economist at Elon University, is well aware of these grooming dynamics. He studies time use and grooming habits, and he has a seven-year-old son. DeLoach confirmed that their morning routines are just as quick as my family’s. In a study from 2011, he and his colleague Tina Das analyzed data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics’ American Time Use Survey, revealing that women generally spend about 15 minutes more on grooming each day than men—averaging 45 minutes compared to men’s 30. However, he also discovered that women who groom for an hour and a half daily earn approximately 3% less than their peers.

When I asked about the long-term financial implications, DeLoach calculated that this 3% difference could accumulate to around $1.4 million over a 30-year career, assuming an initial salary of $50,000. “That’s a significant amount for retirement,” he remarked.

At first, I wondered—why would anyone spend an hour and a half grooming? But then it struck me: why does increased grooming correlate with reduced earnings? Certainly, maintaining a polished appearance is essential for roles that involve public interactions, as good grooming conveys dedication and professionalism. However, DeLoach theorizes that women may be penalized for appearing overly meticulous. I wonder if the cultural norms that encourage women to invest time in their looks aren’t the same ones that steer them away from high-paying careers.

The Preparation Process

When I think about my female colleagues excelling in high-powered jobs, they don’t seem overly styled—there’s no Joan Cusack from Working Girl vibe. Their appearances are practical yet feminine. Take, for instance, Lisa, a tech professional: “I only use eyeshadow, liner, mascara, and occasionally gloss…” This minimalist approach signals care for her appearance without veering into vanity, allowing her to maintain a serious image.

Yet, as I continue my conversation with Lisa, another theme emerges—the extensive “prep work” needed beyond the morning routine. She notes that routine tasks like weekly manicures and selecting age-appropriate outfits in a profession lacking a clear dress code can be draining. Men, in contrast, have a simpler approach to professional attire, often wearing similar styles from their twenties to their sixties.

Even streamlined grooming regimens are rooted in complex histories—regular waxing or shaving, haircuts, and manicures all contribute to the cumulative time spent on maintaining a traditionally feminine appearance. This backstory could easily inflate the average grooming time from 45 minutes to an hour and a half each day.

What If We Opted Out?

What if we completely abandoned the grooming norms for women and allocated that time to more fulfilling activities, like playing guitar? What if I dressed in a loose, old t-shirt and casual shoes, or let my hair grow wild? For a 40-year-old woman post-baby, a disheveled outfit wouldn’t cut it—we all seek the right balance of appearance and comfort. A friend joked about creating a blouse with the rigidity of a suitcase to mask imperfections.

I asked Amanda, an administrator at an all-girls school, what would occur if her female colleagues adopted a more “masculine” grooming standard, akin to Lisa’s minimalistic approach. She shared that some female colleagues have indeed done so, but the reaction has often been negative. “People definitely make comments,” she said, noting that women who show up to work without being well-groomed often face subtle professional consequences, such as being overlooked for public representation due to their appearance.

This inequality, which amounts to a societal theft of time, begins in childhood. The little girls at the playground, even at age four, are already spending considerably more time on their looks compared to boys. Mothers often lament the struggles of managing their daughters’ long hair and the myriad products required to maintain it. For black girls, the grooming demands can be even more profound; one mother in Brooklyn shared that her daughter’s styling appointment takes an hour for $25, whereas her son’s haircut is completed in 15 minutes for only $8. Both children are equally adorable, yet the effort and expense for the girls are significantly greater.

Alternate Realities

Imagine reclaiming all that time spent on grooming—what if you never had to scrutinize yourself for stray hairs? What if you could divert that energy into skills like music, coding, or languages? This difference in time could contribute to the wage gap between genders, as men have that extra 15 to 20 minutes each day to focus on professional development.

However, I understand the societal pressure—if I had a daughter, I would likely buy her little sundresses and spend time styling her hair with cute clips, hoping to shield her from life’s challenges. But I’d also feel uneasy, recognizing that I wouldn’t expect the same from my sons.

We value the aesthetic pleasure of watching little girls in cute outfits more than we do for boys, which changes their experiences. We want all children to play and explore, yet we place the additional expectation on girls to do so while looking adorable. This creates an ongoing burden of beauty chores that weighs heavily on women.

In many ways, we are all a bit like Joan Cusack in Working Girl. I’d rather not stand in front of my closet dismissing a dress simply because I didn’t have time to shave my legs. I just want to get out the door—or perhaps strum my guitar while waiting for my husband.

Summary

This article explores the additional costs and time demands placed on women due to societal grooming standards compared to men. It highlights the economic impact of grooming on women’s earnings, the preparation involved in maintaining appearances, and the societal pressures placed on girls from a young age. It emphasizes the need for awareness around these issues and the potential to reclaim valuable time for personal development.