As Thanksgiving approaches, you’re probably gearing up for another round of family festivities. This gathering won’t be your first, and it certainly won’t be mine. To help you brace yourself, let’s explore the nine types of Thanksgiving guests who might just drive you to the brink this year.
In our modern age, where even turkeys are scrutinized for their GMO status, preparing for the family dinner isn’t as simple as ordering a turkey and whipping up mashed potatoes. As the invitations are sent out, you’re likely receiving a flurry of dietary requests: “Megan is allergic to all nuts,” “Tom is a strict vegan,” and “Don’t forget, Lucy is now following a paleo diet!”
Here’s a handy guide to navigating the nine types of Thanksgiving guests you’re bound to encounter:
- The Inquisitor
Most likely your fitness-obsessed sister-in-law, the Inquisitor arrives armed with questions. “Where did you source the turkey?” Heaven forbid you mention the local grocery store! “Are those sweet potatoes organic and non-GMO?” Who knew potatoes had such standards? You might wonder if she ever eats anything that doesn’t come with a certification. - The Observer
Typically your mother-in-law, the Observer offers unsolicited advice while sitting back and watching you work. “Have you thought about using a playpen for the kids while you cook?” Yes, because containing them would make everything easier, right? - The Vegan
You probably have one of these in your midst—a likely a younger guest like your niece, who passionately believes that eating animals is morally wrong. Expect a call from her mom detailing the strict dietary requirements that include absolutely no animal products. “Could you use almond milk instead of butter?” Delightful. - The Tippler
Everyone knows a Tippler, and if you have twelve guests, odds are one of them is Uncle Charlie. As you juggle cooking with a baby strapped to you, you’ll catch him downing cocktails while tossing your toddler in the air. - The Over-sharer
Aunt Marge is the Over-sharer who delights in sharing TMI about her health issues. Whether it’s the gory details of her chronic sinus infection or a graphic recount of her last medical procedure, you can always count on her to keep the family entertained—if not slightly horrified. - The Picker
This guest just can’t wait for the meal to be served. Often a parent or grandparent, the Picker starts nibbling long before the official feast. You might find yourself preparing a decoy turkey just to keep him at bay! - The Allergy Advocate
Often represented by a nervous mother, this guest arrives with a laundry list of allergies. While you understand the seriousness, you may feel overwhelmed when they request new bedding because their child is “allergic” to down. - The Instigator
This role is usually filled by a mischievous younger sibling. The Instigator loves to stir the pot, often making comments about the food that ensure tensions rise, such as questioning whether the mashed potatoes were made with chicken broth—right in front of the vegan. - The Closet Eater
This guest is stealthy, often indulging in late-night snacks while everyone else sleeps. If you wake up to find your pies mysteriously missing bites, the Closet Eater may be to blame. Hiding food may backfire, though; you don’t want to set off the alarm if they venture into the garage for a midnight snack.
At the end of the day, Thanksgiving is about appreciating family, no matter the quirks. I cherish the time spent with my loved ones and am grateful for the meals we share. So embrace your Inquisitors, Instigators, and Closet Eaters—they’re all part of your family.
For more tips on navigating family dynamics, check out this excellent resource on at-home insemination and discover more about parenting at Make a Mom. You might also want to explore home exercises for a healthier lifestyle.
In summary, prepare for a colorful mix of personalities this Thanksgiving. Embrace the chaos, and remember that it’s all part of the family experience.