Recently, I had an enlightening discussion with my friend Max, whose insights compelled me to explore meditation. (I delve deeper into this in my upcoming book on habits, titled Before and After.) Max’s humorous and thought-provoking book, 10% Happier: How I Tamed My Inner Voice, Reduced Stress, and Discovered Effective Self-Help, is set to be released next month.
Max has reflected extensively on the interplay between habits and happiness, and I was eager to learn from his experiences. When asked about a simple habit that consistently boosts happiness, he surprised me by saying, “meditation.”
Like many, I once thought meditation was only for spiritual leaders, psychedelic enthusiasts, or those who enjoy soft music and nature. However, I discovered a wealth of scientific research highlighting meditation’s extensive health benefits, from lowering blood pressure to enhancing immune function and even rewiring the brain for greater happiness. I was also relieved to find that meditation doesn’t require elaborate rituals—no need for sitting cross-legged or burning incense! (If you’re interested, I’ve compiled some straightforward meditation instructions.)
Starting with just five minutes a day, I quickly began to recognize three key benefits: enhanced focus, a deeper sense of serenity, and a remarkable ability to redirect my thoughts away from pointless ruminations about the past or future to what was happening in the moment.
As time passed—after nearly four years and now meditating for 35 minutes daily—I noticed an even more profound change: I developed a healthier relationship with my inner voice. You know the voice I’m referring to. It’s what prompts us to grab snacks when we’re not hungry, distract ourselves while conversing with others, and act out emotionally, only to regret it later. The ability to observe our thoughts without knee-jerk reactions—often termed “mindfulness”—is a true superpower.
I’m not claiming meditation is a cure-all. I still engage in plenty of foolish behaviors, as my partner will confirm. However, meditation has undeniably made me happier, calmer, and more pleasant. In fact, I’ve even written a book aimed at making meditation appealing to those who don’t consider themselves spiritual, titled 10% Happier.
Reflecting on what I know about forming healthy habits now, compared to when I was 18, it’s clear that I had little understanding of the theories behind habit formation. A neuroscientist friend once told me, “The brain is a pleasure-seeking machine,” which resonates with my experience. I realize now that I can only create or break habits if there is strong self-interest at play—essentially, if the change brings me joy either directly or indirectly.
For instance, I started meditating because of the compelling evidence of its benefits, and I’ve maintained it despite the challenges because the positive effects are evident in my life.
However, I still struggle with some habits that hinder my happiness. For example, multitasking continues to be a significant hurdle. Despite knowing that our brains cannot effectively handle multiple tasks at once, I often find myself juggling emails, social media, phone calls, and the work I should be focusing on.
Mindless eating is another challenge. I strive to eat healthily, but I often succumb to cravings for indulgent foods like pasta, burgers, and cookies. When I overindulge, it’s hard to stop, and those moments typically lead to feelings of guilt.
In the whirlwind of demanding work periods, especially during breaking news coverage, my inner voice often becomes more critical, and I find myself indulging in unhealthy habits. Nevertheless, I love the excitement of reporting on important events, making it a tough balance to strike.
Interestingly, I experienced a “flash change” in my early adulthood that shaped my approach to habits. After years of being an average student, I had an epiphany while driving one summer day—I decided to commit fully to my studies. This pivotal moment led to a lasting habit of hard work, even though it sometimes placed undue pressure on me during my career.
My partner, Sarah, and I have a significant influence on each other’s habits. When one of us starts eating healthier, the other tends to follow suit. Importantly, Sarah has instilled in me the value of kindness. I once had the unfortunate habit of being short with others during stressful moments, but after learning about compassion meditation—a practice that encourages sending positive thoughts to others—I made it a priority to be more considerate.
Not being a jerk has become one of the most rewarding habits I’ve developed. Meditation is simply a mental workout, akin to exercising the brain. Regardless of our age, we can reshape our personalities in meaningful ways. A sign in my favorite record store once read, “All dates can change. So can you.”
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In summary, the journey of changing my relationship with my inner voice has brought immense benefits to my life, from improved mindfulness to healthier habits. While challenges remain, the practice of meditation has empowered me to cultivate a more positive outlook and foster healthier interactions with myself and others.