I noticed you the other day.
Frustration was evident on your face. You were prodding, pleading, and even bribing your little one to participate. You may have daydreamed about your child excelling in sports or performing in dance recitals, but here you are, grappling with an inconsolable kid who is gripping your leg as if his life depends on it.
You’ve exhausted every trick in the book to get your child to let go and give it a shot, but nothing seems to work. You watch other kids joyfully joining in, and you can’t help but wonder: what’s wrong with mine? Why won’t she just do it?
Your mind races with scenarios of your child missing out on experiences—riding the bench in basketball or being the last chosen for kickball. The anxiety builds: if he doesn’t start swim lessons now, will he ever become a good swimmer? Where did I go wrong? Is he going to lag behind his peers forever? He needs to participate! NOW! After all, he’s already…FOUR!
The more your child resists, the more your frustration mounts. You plead with them to just try it. What’s the matter? Why can’t you just give it a shot? This once enjoyable activity has turned into a source of stress for both of you.
I completely understand. I’ve been in your shoes. When my youngest, Ethan, was three, I enrolled him in a toddler basketball program at the Y, believing it would kickstart his sports journey. The instructor was hip and engaging, but Ethan didn’t see it that way. While the other kids ran to join in, he clung to me resolutely for eight weeks, refusing to participate. I lost countless nights worrying about how this would affect his future, unable to recognize that he simply wasn’t ready.
Instead of listening to Ethan, I let my anxiety take the lead. Basketball was too intimidating, so I thought, why not throw him into something even scarier? I signed him up for ice skating lessons—because obviously, if he was going to be an ice hockey star, he needed to learn to skate. I hate the cold, and I’ve never even watched a hockey game! Unsurprisingly, he was terrified, gripping my arm as I dragged him to the rink. I practically shoved him onto the ice. Each week, I would try to coax him with promises of treats and gifts, but nothing worked. He just wasn’t ready.
Reflecting on that experience reminded me of you. Here’s the truth: it will happen. How do I know? The anxious three and four-year-old I tried to force into sports is now a confident nine-year-old. He’s one of the top players on his baseball team, a strong swimmer, and a gifted basketball player. Just last week, he asked me if he could take skating lessons!
So, take a breath. I understand how challenging it can be to remain patient and not worry. But trust that one day, your child will be ready—whether that’s in a few minutes or a few years. When the time comes, they will let you know.
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Summary
The article empathizes with parents whose children refuse to participate in activities. It shares a personal anecdote about the author’s experience with her child and reassures parents that readiness will come in its own time.