By: Emily Carter
Updated: Dec. 26, 2015
Originally Published: Oct. 23, 2014
In this article, I confront a challenging question: how can we make a temporary exception to a positive habit without jeopardizing it entirely? There are times when we might want to deviate from our routines—perhaps to seize a unique opportunity or to celebrate a special event.
One effective strategy for this scenario is the concept of a “planned exception.” This approach helps shield us from impulsive choices. As adults, we create our own rules, and by deliberately deciding on an exception ahead of time, we can maintain control over our actions.
When we plan for an exception, we empower ourselves; we’re not abandoning a habit on a whim, nor are we scrambling to justify our actions later. This sense of control fosters happiness and satisfaction.
Planned exceptions are most effective when they are confined or have a specific cutoff point. A friend of mine recently shared how he utilized a mindful exception to stray from his usual low-carb diet.
Many individuals might think, “I’m on vacation, I deserve a treat, I can’t resist these desserts!” and end up disregarding their healthy eating habits completely. My friend, however, aimed to indulge in a measured way.
“When I was in a cabin in Montana, I ate almost every meal at a renowned restaurant famous for its desserts,” he explained. “Before heading out from New York City, I established my dessert policy.”
His policy? One slice of dessert per meal. I was intrigued by the thoughtful elements he incorporated into his plan:
- Conditional Planning: “If I’m in Montana, then I’ll indulge this way.” Using “if-then” strategies is powerful; by predefining our choices, we simplify decision-making when the moment arises. Having an exception that’s exclusive to Montana helps keep it self-limiting. My friend enjoys desserts, but he wouldn’t travel all the way to Montana just for a slice of pie.
- Clear Limits: “I’ll have one slice with every meal, but only one.” Yes, he enjoyed dessert at breakfast too, but adhered strictly to one slice. Bright-line rules—clearly defined guidelines—eliminate ambiguity and decision fatigue.
- No Take-Home Desserts: “I didn’t take any desserts back to the cabin; I could only eat them at the restaurant.” In the past, he would sometimes skip dessert at a meal, take a pie back, and nibble throughout the day. This leads to a lack of self-monitoring, which can be tempting but is less effective. A rule of one slice per meal simplifies tracking—1 slice equals easy math. The Strategy of Monitoring is crucial; we tend to perform better when we keep tabs on our actions.
- Single Indulgence: “I broke my low-carb rule for dessert—but just for dessert.” After a few days, he started to think, “A bit of ice cream would be nice, and there’s an excellent ice cream shop nearby.” Knowing himself, he recognized that if he deviated from dessert to ice cream, it could spiral into a free-for-all. Thus, he committed to dessert alone.
- Enjoyment Factor: “I knew I’d have a better vacation if I allowed myself dessert.” It’s essential for maintaining good habits that we don’t feel deprived. When we feel deprived, we start rationalizing indulgences with thoughts like “I deserve this” or “I’ve earned this,” leading to unhealthy choices. By devising a way to indulge without feeling deprived, my friend was able to fully appreciate a special aspect of his vacation.
It’s worth noting that my friend is an Abstainer, and this method suited him well. Many Abstainers thrive when they completely abstain rather than trying moderation. In contrast, I identify as a strict Abstainer myself. You’d be amazed at what I’m currently abstaining from. To learn more about this topic, check out this resource for pregnancy and home insemination.
In conclusion, sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to step back from our routines to maintain long-term success.
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