This week, my youngest child turns thirteen, officially making me a mother of three teenagers. (No wonder my gray hairs are multiplying!) Navigating the teenage years is incredibly stressful. When they were younger, I had control over their lives: I chose their breakfast, dictated their TV shows, controlled their friendships, and set their bedtimes. How hard could that be? Even if they started their day with sugary cereal, I could balance it out by lunchtime. Now, they are making choices with far-reaching consequences, and I feel the clock ticking on imparting crucial life lessons.
The worries are endless: What about their internet safety? Substance abuse? Their futures? Safe sex? Texting while driving? Did they remember to wear clean underwear? If they don’t and something happens, will everyone at the hospital think I’ve raised a bunch of Neanderthals?
To all the moms of older kids who pitied me when I was a sleep-deprived new parent—when I was an incoherent zombie who hadn’t showered in days and smelled like sweat and sour milk—you said, “Don’t worry. It gets easier.” I clung to that idea as if it were a beacon in the dark. I hoped for relief as my clingy baby transitioned from being attached to my breast to my leg. Through countless diaper changes, Christmas tree disasters, and grocery store meltdowns, I kept waiting for things to get easier.
Even after surviving the years of being covered in various bodily fluids and stepping on Lego pieces, you assured me, “Don’t worry. It gets easier.” At that point, I had already realized that easier wasn’t in the cards just yet, but I still held onto hope. I was at least getting some sleep, which was crucial for managing the constant barrage of questions and crises—like rescuing goldfish from desks and unclogging toilets filled with socks and toys.
And now? It’s all about slamming doors, eye rolls, and boundary testing. It’s questioning my decisions, arguing over fairness, and worrying about their reputations. It’s a rush to help with homework and enforcing curfews while tackling serious discussions about prejudice and date rape. It’s drama with friends and navigating the unsettling experience of my teenage daughter receiving inappropriate messages.
So, don’t you dare tell me it gets easier. I call nonsense on that.
I’ve exchanged soothing boo-boos for mending broken hearts. I’ve switched sleepless nights rocking a baby for sleepless nights worrying about the choices my teens might make—choices that could have irreversible effects on their lives and mine. I’ve replaced “The Wheels on the Bus” with the often-repeated mantra, “Be Responsible.” My inquiries have transformed from “Why is the sky blue?” to “Why is she being so mean?”
Yet, one thing remains constant: they still expect food… constantly. Some things never change.
I no longer smell like baby vomit, so there’s that. Sure, in some ways, life has gotten easier. I can leave the house without little ones in tow, and I can sleep more than three hours at a time. I haven’t been vomited on in months. But in many ways, parenting is so much more challenging now.
What I hoped for when you said, “It gets easier,” was the return to normalcy—being able to think and act without constantly considering my children’s needs. I wanted to reclaim a semblance of my pre-kid self, free from the weight of raising human beings.
However, motherhood demands a new normal, which sometimes means wearing old sweatpants and dodging Legos while keeping chocolate out of reach. It’s about functioning on little sleep, bandaging skinned knees, and answering awkward questions. Above all, it’s about loving them fiercely, even when it’s tough.
As a mom of three teens, it involves setting boundaries and watching them learn from their mistakes, all while resisting the urge to swoop in and save the day. It’s about trusting them to make wise choices and loving them regardless of their missteps—certainly not easy, but it is the new normal.
To all the mothers of young children out there: don’t listen when they say it gets easier. They mean well, but they lie. It may not get easier, but it does change. Your little ones evolve, and so do you. You become stronger, wiser, and more adaptable.
For more insights on navigating motherhood, you might find this resource on pregnancy and home insemination valuable. And if you’re interested in understanding some common challenges, check out this article on belly button issues.
In summary, the journey of motherhood is a rollercoaster ride of challenges and rewards, continually evolving but never truly becoming easier. Embrace the chaos and complexities, and know that you are growing alongside your children.