The humorous notion that marriage leads to a decline in intimacy has been around for ages. I remember when we first got engaged; my husband’s older friends joked about how certain activities would become relics of the past. He exchanged a silent glance with me, one eyebrow raised, as if to ask if it were true. I shook my head firmly. No legal document would diminish our sex life—not on my watch… and it didn’t. Then came parenthood.
The aftermath of childbirth took a toll on my body—stretch marks, a significant scar from the cesarean, and a few extra pounds. The sheer exhaustion of caring for a newborn also played its part. Though we still found time for intimacy, it became less frequent and often rushed, resembling a “sex light” version of our former selves. We started scheduling our needs in the calendar. More often than not, those slots remained unfilled.
One particular evening, we returned from a family dinner late—around 10 PM. Our eldest had dozed off in the car, and we quietly changed him and tucked him into bed. As I was closing the door to the baby’s room (who was also peacefully asleep), I turned to my husband and asked, “Got ten minutes?” He chuckled, “Absolutely.”
In a flash, we shed our clothes and leapt onto the bed. My husband positioned himself above me, and for a brief moment, I thought we’d perfectly orchestrated a lovely evening together. Then, I heard a tiny voice: “What are you guys doing?”
Oh no, this can’t be happening. Why don’t we have locks on our doors? I felt embarrassed while my husband attempted to stifle a laugh, burying his face in the crook of my neck. Great, looks like I had to tackle this one alone.
“We’re talking.”
“Talking? That’s silly,” my five-year-old replied.
“That’s just us, super silly! Did you need something?” I stammered, scrambling for a way to diffuse this mortifying moment.
“Did I leave Mr. Bear in here?” my sweet but oblivious child asked.
My husband reached to the side, retrieved Mr. Bear, and tossed it toward our son. “Thanks!” he shouted, “Good night!”
I exhaled with relief, thinking the awkward encounter was finally over, but then he peeked back in as if he’d forgotten something. “You know…” he mused, “If you really are talking naked, you’re doing it all wrong. Daddy’s still wearing socks.”
Once our son was finally gone, we lay on the bed, laughing until our sides hurt. Though the moment for intimacy had passed, it transformed into something deeper, something uproariously genuine. We settled for a microwave pizza and drifted off to sleep, feeling that night was somehow more fulfilling than sex.
For more on the journey of parenthood and the changes it brings, you can explore related topics on artificial insemination kits and their significance in family planning at Make a Mom. If you’re curious about the challenges of getting pregnant in 2025, Intracervical Insemination provides insight into the topic. Additionally, the CDC serves as an excellent resource for information on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, while the initial spark of intimacy may evolve after having children, it can lead to moments of genuine connection that are just as rewarding. Parenting may shift priorities, but laughter and shared experiences can create bonds that are even stronger.