When I was expecting my first child, a decade ago, I approached pregnancy much like my college studies: I immersed myself in books, took notes, attended every class, and engaged in online forums. My academic background made me determined to ace Motherhood 101.
I diligently attended birthing classes, toured the hospital, and brought my partner along to breastfeeding workshops. I meticulously washed all baby clothes in hypoallergenic detergent and practiced kegels. Then, I had my baby.
And like many new moms, I found myself in bed, grappling with physical discomfort, stitches in unexpected places, rapidly changing breasts, and crashing hormones. All I could think was, “Why didn’t anyone prepare me for this?” The answer is straightforward: I wasn’t ready to hear it. During my pregnancy, I focused solely on topics like childbirth and diapering, overlooking the reality that giving birth is just the inception of motherhood.
Here are ten truths I wish I had known:
- When you first meet your baby, you might not experience the euphoric joy depicted in movies. You might still be in the midst of medical procedures or feeling intense pain. It’s completely normal if the moment doesn’t feel magical; you’ll have plenty of time for those cherished experiences later.
- Your inaugural trip to the bathroom post-delivery will be an ordeal. Don’t hesitate to ask for assistance; it’s better than risking a fainting spell alone. Embrace the fact that your dignity will take a backseat for a while. After all, you’ll spend years managing bathroom trips with a little one around.
- Breastfeeding can be a challenge. It takes time to master the various holds and to find what works for you and your crying newborn. Initially, it might be painful; my own experience included cracked nipples and severe engorgement. Thankfully, my lactation consultant offered invaluable support. Remember, it’s perfectly fine if breastfeeding isn’t your path; how you nurture your baby matters far more than the method of feeding.
- Expect tears on day four postpartum. It’s typically the moment when your hormones take a nosedive. You may feel overwhelmed, convinced your life is in shambles, and be prone to tears for no clear reason. It’s okay to cry — just ensure you seek help if the sadness persists.
- Try to avoid real clothes for at least two weeks. Once you dress in anything other than pajamas, people may expect you to function like a regular adult. Stay in comfy PJs unless you’re ready to juggle house chores and entertaining visitors alongside postpartum recovery.
- Babies don’t always adhere to a sleep schedule. This isn’t a reflection of your parenting skills. Eventually, they will sleep. Other parents might claim their baby sleeps well, but they could be exaggerating or using a different definition of “sleep.” Just like adults, babies have varied sleep patterns. Rest assured, your child will find their rhythm.
- Trust your instincts about your baby, and don’t let others make you doubt your abilities. There’s no single “correct” way to parent; many paths lead to being a good mom. You don’t have to replicate your mother’s or grandmother’s approach — listen to your intuition.
- Seek out support — whether it’s local new mom groups, breastfeeding circles, or hospital meet-ups. Connecting with other new mothers can be a lifeline, even if you return to work post-maternity leave. Navigating your new role is akin to starting college; you need fellow newbies to share the experience.
- Avoid the martyrdom mentality. Kids don’t cherish the sacrifices of martyrs. It’s okay to ask for help — have friends or family hold the baby while you take a shower or catch a nap. Transitioning into motherhood can be overwhelming; one day, you’re independent, and the next, you’re juggling a tiny human’s needs. Acknowledge that it is tough sometimes, even if you’re grateful for your baby.
- Capture countless moments with photographs, and make sure to be in some of them. You won’t recall much of this journey later on, trust me.
Ultimately, what I wish someone had imparted to me is this: the first year of motherhood is an unparalleled experience, regardless of how many children you have. Each day is both a miracle and a struggle, and you may feel as if time stretches endlessly. You’ll discover that the notion of achieving a perfect score is unrealistic. Your life will be irrevocably transformed, and you’ll realize that some lessons can only be learned through experience. No amount of reading or advice can truly prepare you for what lies ahead.
For more insights into motherhood, check out our guide on how to create your own artificial insemination kit and explore this resource for expert knowledge on the sense of touch during pregnancy. Additionally, if you’re looking for comprehensive information about IVF and home insemination, this site is an excellent resource.
Summary: Motherhood brings unexpected challenges and profound joys. From the initial encounter with your newborn to navigating sleepless nights and the emotional rollercoaster of postpartum recovery, understanding these realities can help prepare you for the journey ahead. Trust your instincts, seek support, and remember to cherish the moments.