“Ben. Ben has autism,” my ten-year-old son, Sam, declared one sunny afternoon. We had just finished picking strawberries, and I glanced over at my five-year-old, who was attempting to see if one of the plump berries would fit in his ear—and then back to Sam.
“I understand why you might think that,” I replied thoughtfully. “But he hasn’t been diagnosed with autism.”
“Who else? Who else has it? Like me.”
“Well, many people are on the autism spectrum, Sam.”
“WHO?”
What should I say? I could dive into statistics, explaining, “Look, Sam, one in every eighty-eight kids receives an autism diagnosis, so there are truly a multitude of individuals like you, those who see Thursdays as green and recall what their dentist wore last year.”
But that wouldn’t resonate with him.
Instead, I focus on the brighter aspects of autism: his remarkable memory, his kindness, determination, and the strides he’s making. However, it hardly alleviates the evident loneliness, the sense of being the only one in his family, in his class, perhaps even in the world diagnosed with this condition.
It’s as if I’m saying to him: “Sam, you are a dazzling unicorn among ordinary horses. You are extraordinary! We know there are countless others out there—multitudes, even—but we don’t know how to show you. We’re not quite sure where they all are. Oh, magical unicorn? We don’t really understand you. Your vibrant beauty leaves us in awe, but your outbursts frighten us. Perhaps it would be simpler if you were just a regular horse like the rest of us. Then we could teach you how to do math.”
When I began my blog, I didn’t have a clear plan. It’s been over two years, and I realize I wrote it partly to feel less isolated. From the comfort of my little space, I could express my heartache, share a laugh, and connect with others navigating the world of autism and parenthood alike. If I could raise some awareness about autism, that would be an added bonus.
But ultimately, I have fallen short. I have connected with a broader community, yet the boy sitting next to me—the one with autism—feels lost and frightened. He feels ashamed, alone.
So, I reached out to my readers on social media, asking them to help show my son that there are indeed countless others just like him; individuals who create beautiful art, hold jobs, enjoy films, and always crave ice cream after dinner. The flood of responses was overwhelming.
“Hey, Sam. This is my son, also named Sam. He has autism. He is eight years old, and even though his social skills are considered ‘very poor,’ you’ll never meet someone who can light up a room like him. You are not alone, my friend.”
“Hi Sam! This is my 15-year-old nephew, who also has autism. He is the incredible unicorn in my life.”
I recognized Sam in these messages. I saw myself reflected in them. I absorbed the hope, encouragement, pain, and love.
“I have a son who is 14 and has autism. I’m athletic and, like many fathers, looked forward to playing sports with my son, but I have embraced the brilliance he possesses, his humor, his kindness, and my goal is to ensure Jamie lives the best life possible.”
Old friends reconnected. Former colleagues reached out, and one mother shared her shy child’s radiant smile.
“Hi Sam, my son is six and has autism. He doesn’t speak much but has a smile that lights up any room…just like yours.”
Educators from across the country chimed in. “I’ve had several students with autism, and each one has changed my life in some way.”
Minnesota, New Jersey, Oregon, Illinois, California.
“Hello Sam! I have two sons who are twins on the autism spectrum. They are 13 and live in Iowa. One loves swimming and elevators, and the other has an incredible memory and plays the trombone with perfect pitch.”
We read a message from a family in Australia together over dinner. Sam’s face beamed with recognition when he remarked, “Sydney. That’s in Australia.”
“My younger son is autistic. He is nine and enjoys soccer and everything related to Minecraft. He is loving and a joy to be around 🙂 We live in New Zealand. You are not alone!”
A few bravely shared their own experiences. “I have autism. I lead a fulfilling life and face challenges related to it. But I’m 25 now, have achieved much, and love who I am. You are definitely not alone.”
Throughout the week, Sam asked for my phone repeatedly to read the comments. Each time, his face lit up.
“My amazing 12-year-old daughter has Autism and ADHD; she feels alone even among friends.”
If I’ve learned anything, it’s that autism encompasses a vast array of experiences. Sometimes the net catches more than one person from a family, and other times, it’s just a solitary figure.
“I have two fantastic boys on the spectrum. Autism is merely one aspect of who they are, much like having brown eyes or curly hair.”
One morning, while I was at my laptop reading emails, Sam came over, as usual, hoping for some music. But he was drawn into the Facebook thread, engrossed in the photos and stories of other children and adults. Suddenly, he paused.
“Joe. Thompson,” he whispered. “That’s Dad.”
I squinted at the screen and saw a comment near the bottom of the thread: “Hi Sam. My son has autism, and I have loved you since the day you were born.”
I once thought the word “multitude” was just a whimsical way to sum up the responses to a blog post. But I was mistaken; it’s much more than a number.
A multitude is confusion and fear, it’s golden retrievers named Max. It’s children from Michigan and teens from Utah, all navigating their unique paths. It encompasses frustration and joy, grace and connection. It’s the moments shared across the dinner table, enduring the struggles and triumphs. It’s animated films, remarkable memories, and the extraordinary gifts that come with unique individuals.
A multitude is both vast and intimate. It can feel overwhelming, but some days, it’s simply two brothers sliding down the wild slope of autism together, laughing under a bright blue sky.
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Summary:
This article explores the personal experiences of a mother navigating her son’s autism diagnosis while seeking connections with others in similar situations. Through social media outreach, she discovers a supportive community that shares their stories, fostering a sense of belonging for her son. The narrative highlights the unique beauty and challenges of autism, emphasizing that many individuals share this journey. Ultimately, it conveys the message that no one is truly alone in their experiences.
