DING! My phone buzzes with yet another notification, competing with the sounds of “Monster Math Squad” and the rhythmic tapping of my fingers on the keyboard. I have an endless list of tasks for the day, yet I’ll only manage to tackle a fraction of them before the bus arrives, bringing home my two preteens. Once they’re back, it’s a whirlwind of homework, dinner prep, bath time, and bedtime, all while mediating sibling squabbles. If I’m fortunate and focused enough, I might even manage to enjoy a warm meal and steal a quick hug or kiss from my partner when he returns from his job.
“Mom, do you need to check your emails?” chirps my adorable four-year-old, his eyes wide with curiosity. Bless him—he likely understands how to navigate an iPhone better than most adults I know. If only he could handle some of those notifications for me.
When I made the decision to work from home, I truly believed it was the best choice ever. “What’s not to love?” I thought to myself three years ago. I could pursue a career I’m passionate about, earn a salary, stay home with my kids, choose my own schedule, be available for my children, and maintain my professional experience—all while cherishing these fleeting moments with my family. It seemed like the ideal arrangement!
Let me clarify: working from home is genuinely amazing, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I recognize how fortunate I am to have this opportunity. I love my kids, my job, and the life we’ve built together.
However, it’s not without its challenges…
I work from home with a four-year-old. That alone speaks volumes, especially if you’ve ever tried to accomplish anything productive while managing the whims of a toddler or preschooler.
In the beginning, I attempted to establish a home office in a spare room. “This is perfect!” I thought. “I’ll be away from distractions, where I can truly focus.” That plan lasted about a month. No matter how much I wished for uninterrupted time, I could never manage more than thirty minutes without being pulled away by some urgent need. I didn’t want to leave my toddler unsupervised for even a few minutes!
So, I thought I could work during his naps, playtime, or while he watched TV. Spoiler alert: naps don’t last forever, and kids rarely entertain themselves indefinitely. There’s only so much screen time I can allow without feeling guilty. Thus, I resolved to work in short bursts throughout the day, spending time with my little one and tackling household chores, reserving my real work for the late hours after everyone else has gone to bed.
Fast forward to now: I haven’t had a good night’s sleep before 2 or 3 a.m. for over a year, often pushing it closer to 4 a.m., with a few late-night shifts where I’m still awake when dawn breaks. My sustenance consists of caffeine, nicotine, and Google Drive. I struggle to remember the last time I had a decent amount of rest, as my husband needs to wake up early for his “real” job. We do find sitters and have date nights, but I deeply miss those quiet moments together in bed, waking up as a couple—not alone while the world begins its day.
Let’s not forget the friends, family, and neighbors who equate working from home with having endless free time. I frequently hear gems like:
- “What do you actually do all day?”
- “Why are you up so late?”
- “Can’t you just do that tomorrow?”
- “If I were home all the time, my house would be spotless!”
- “I wish I could sleep in like you!”
- “Must be nice to work in your pajamas!”
I’ll concede that the last one is a perk. My kids often ask why I’m dressing up and putting on makeup just to join a video conference, to which I reply that I’d prefer my boss not to see me looking like the ‘before’ picture of a makeover.
Working from home is not a euphemism for lounging around while earning a paycheck. To receive compensation, I need to produce tangible work, just like anyone in a traditional office. My work is real, my efforts are real, and the time I invest is very much real. Just because I don’t commute to an office doesn’t mean I’m not contributing to society. My unconventional hours don’t diminish the validity of my work either; I function just like anyone else, albeit on a different schedule.
I could elaborate further, but the crux of the matter is that while the concept of working from home seems idyllic, I often feel like I’m falling short in multiple areas. I struggle to give my child the attention he deserves while juggling work obligations, and I can’t focus on my job because my child needs me. Both responsibilities often clash when the dryer buzzes, reminding me that clean towels are necessary for bath time! I feel like I’m perpetually on the clock. However, despite the chaotic nature of my life, I wouldn’t change a thing. I thrive in this whirlwind and wouldn’t know how to fill my time with genuine downtime.
Oh, wait. That’s right—sleep! If only I could recall what it feels like. It sings the song of heaven and tastes like cotton candy. Perhaps one day I’ll indulge in that luxury, but for now, it’s nearly dawn—time to wake everyone for their day and start breakfast while tossing in a load of laundry before I call it a night. Or is it morning? Whatever.
This article originally appeared on April 13, 2014.
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Summary
Working from home presents both joys and challenges, especially when balancing family responsibilities with professional tasks. While the flexibility can be enticing, it often leads to feelings of inadequacy as one navigates the competing demands of work and parenting. Ultimately, the chaotic lifestyle is embraced, even if it means sacrificing some sleep along the way.