As a parent of three—an infant, a 5-year-old, and a 7-year-old—I adore my children, but let’s be honest: parenting can sometimes be a real mood buster. Non-parents often approach me with questions about raising kids, and while I appreciate their curiosity, I can’t help but feel a little annoyed after hearing the same queries repeatedly. Here are some of the most tiresome questions I’ve faced.
- “How do you juggle three kids?” What do you expect me to say? That I’m effortlessly managing chaos? The transition from two to three kids felt like treading water when someone unexpectedly tossed me a baby. Honestly, sometimes I fantasize about parking the minivan full of noise on the side of the road and just running away. Managing them? Not as smoothly as you might think. Happy with that answer?
- “Do your kids ever argue?” Seriously? Did you never squabble with your siblings? My kids fight about everything! Just last week, I had to break up a wrestling match triggered by my daughter wanting to sniff a fart from my son. Yes, there’s a lot of bickering. When they’re not at each other’s throats, I assume they’re plotting their next heist.
- “Did you catch last night’s episode of Parks and Recreation?” This may seem unrelated to parenting, but it’s not. I no longer control the TV remote; my kids do. Last night, I was subjected to Yo-Gabba-Gabba and Pokémon. If it’s not animated or involves puppets, I probably haven’t seen it.
- “Why are your eyes so red? Did your kids keep you up?” Absolutely! I spent two hours last night dealing with wet sheets and hunting for Bun Bun. Honestly, if a parent looks exhausted, just assume it’s the kids’ fault and save the commentary.
- “Do your kids ever talk back?” Oh, never! My children are perfect little angels who only speak in polite tones. Just kidding! My 5-year-old called me a “fart face” because I wouldn’t let her watch Netflix, and my 7-year-old told my partner she “sucked” for denying him an ice cream sandwich. Of course, I sent them to their rooms. But it doesn’t always go as planned.
- “What’s that white stuff on your shirt?” Puke. It’s nearly always puke. If it’s not white, it’s probably some other bodily fluid. I have a baby—what did you expect?
- “I bet your home is filled with love, right?” Mostly, it’s a mix of mess, mystery stains, and sticky surfaces. But yes, there are sweet moments—like when my 7-year-old runs to hug me after a long day, or my 5-year-old showcases a new dance, melting my heart. The baby just kicks and giggles, and that is undeniably cute.
What are some of the most ridiculous parenting questions you’ve encountered?
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In summary, parenting is a wild ride filled with chaos, love, and the occasional ridiculous question. It’s a journey worth sharing, even when it comes with its frustrations.