This morning, I observed Mia grappling with her socks. They were inside out, and she was determined to turn them around and put them on by herself. I kindly offered assistance, only to be met with her familiar retort: “No! I can do it myself!”
It’s often said that as parents, we receive back the very behaviors we exhibited as children. Her words echoed in my mind, and I couldn’t help but reflect on how exasperating my own stubbornness must have been for my parents at her age—an annoyance that seems to persist into adulthood. I find myself navigating life like a robotic parent, plastering on a smile and convincing everyone, including myself, that I don’t need assistance. I can manage everything: getting the kids on the bus, surviving sleepless nights with the baby, preparing lunches, whipping up homemade dinners, and engaging in fun projects with the children, all on my own.
Except, of course, when I can’t.
The reality is that last week was particularly challenging. My partner, Alex, was away on a business trip from Monday to Friday. Although he has traveled since our youngest, Lily, was born, this was the first time he was gone for such an extended period after all our family and friends had returned home. I was on my own—24/7. It felt like I was a nonstop news cycle, endlessly repeating myself, just like a cable news channel.
Alex left around 8 AM on Monday. By noon, I realized I had to lower my expectations. The laundry might get done, but it would likely remain unfolded. We might catch the school bus, but we definitely wouldn’t be early. Homework would be completed, and the kids would get fed, even if that meant serving scrambled eggs for dinner most nights. When Mia asked during our day at home together why we weren’t doing anything, I reminded her that I was exhausted from sleepless nights. Yet, I mustered the energy to tackle a cooking project with her, and we ended up making hamantaschen for Purim—albeit just one tray’s worth. It wasn’t much, but it felt like an accomplishment we shared.
However, by Wednesday, I recognized that my new mantra of low expectations wouldn’t suffice. I had to make a more significant change: I needed to accept help. Even more daunting was the prospect of asking for it. Admitting I couldn’t do everything on my own felt like a grown-up version of Mia’s sock battle.
So, when our neighbor offered to walk Ethan to the bus stop, I accepted. When a friend called and offered to bring over dinner, I said yes, savoring that delicious meal for at least two nights—and maybe even for breakfast. When another friend volunteered to pick Mia up from piano class, I gladly agreed. And when yet another amazing friend asked if she could hold Lily so that I could enjoy my coffee with both hands, I didn’t hesitate.
I said yes. Just one little word, but it was transformative. How humbling that it took me 36 years to grasp this concept. That single word, coupled with the kindness of others, carried me through to Friday when my wonderful partner walked back through the door, understanding that I needed a moment to myself.
As I grabbed my keys, I called out to him, “Need anything?” He replied, “Just you.”
“That’s easy,” I shot back. “I’ll go get her. Be back in an hour.”
I need him. I need her. I need them all. Yes.
The Importance of Accepting Help
This article highlights the importance of accepting help and the profound impact it can have on our well-being as parents. For those interested in expanding their family, resources like IVF and other guides on home insemination, such as this one, can be beneficial. Additionally, for those navigating newborn care, check out this essential bathing kit that offers great advice.
Summary
This piece discusses the challenges of parenting alone while emphasizing the significance of asking for and accepting help. The author reflects on personal experiences and realizations about the importance of community support during tough times, showcasing how a simple “yes” can change everything.