Last weekend, while navigating through a relentless downpour after a grueling tournament, my kids suggested we keep the excitement rolling with a trip to the movies. Honestly, I was battling sleep just imagining my warm bed. If I weren’t behind the wheel, I might have dozed off completely.
Me: “Great idea, kiddos! But wait, I just remembered—they don’t show movies after 8 PM on Sundays. Bummer! Maybe tomorrow.”
Yes, I’m adept at delivering a well-timed, harmless fib. My 9-year-old daughter, Chloe, accepted my statement without a second thought and returned to her game on my phone. Meanwhile, my 12-year-old son, Max, paused his own activity and replied, “Mom, there’s an 8:25 showing.”
Curse you, internet, for exposing my last sanity-saving trick!
Here’s the truth: Moms do tell lies. Quick thinking can mean the difference between a peaceful evening and a chaotic meltdown. We are a crafty bunch, and deception is one of our most effective tools—until our kids become tech-savvy and turn to Google, that is.
We craft our fabrications in various ways, with universal phrases and clever tales designed to dodge tantrums, conflicts, or simply to grant us a moment of tranquility. Here are some of the most ingenious lies mothers tell their children for the sake of sanity, furniture, dignity, time, and finances (hats off to my brilliant Facebook followers for their contributions):
- No ketchup is offered at drive-thrus.
- The lunch staff calls me if you don’t eat your meal.
- Our cat has an allergy to Moon Sand, which means we can’t have any in the house—for her own good.
- Didn’t get a visit from the Tooth Fairy last night? She doesn’t work on the third Tuesday of the month. I should’ve mentioned that. She’ll definitely come tonight.
- Replacement batteries for that toy are no longer available.
- Harry Styles dislikes kids who don’t listen to their parents. Now, go brush your teeth and don’t forget to floss.
- Cartoons are off air at night because the characters need their beauty sleep.
- The ice cream truck only plays that jingle when they’re out of ice cream.
- It’s unfortunate, but the movies, arcade, and bowling alley close at 6 PM on weeknights.
- The restaurant I’m going to with your dad doesn’t allow kids — trust me, the waitstaff can be inappropriate.
- This isn’t a brownie; it’s a breakfast bar filled with protein, fiber, and even spinach. Want one?
- Animals rejoice when chosen as food. Here’s some chicken — make it happy!
- Unicorns exist, but you’ll only spot one when you’re exceptionally well-behaved. Haven’t seen one? Well, you need to be even better.
- Babies come from the internet, and that little sister you’ve been wishing for is currently on back-order.
- Chuck E. Cheese is exclusively for birthday celebrations; you must receive an invitation to go there.
- What do the signs say? Um, no running, no touching, no talking. (I’m in trouble when he learns to read!)
- The stuffed animals will feel lonely without their friends if we take them out of the store.
And, of course, the most universal (and ironically amusing) mom lie…
- I would never lie to you; I’m your mother!
This article was originally published on March 14, 2014.
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In summary, moms often resort to creative fibs to navigate the challenges of parenting while preserving their sanity. From inventive explanations about food and outings to whimsical fabrications about magical creatures, these little lies can sometimes be necessary for maintaining peace and order at home.