Do you recall your pre-baby body? The one that could endure sleepless nights and sneeze without worrying about a wardrobe malfunction? I certainly remember mine, and I miss it dearly. During my pregnancy, I took every conceivable measure to maintain my pre-baby physique. I did pelvic exercises to support my pelvic floor, diligently applied oil nightly to stave off stretch marks, and maintained a healthy diet (with a few exceptions for ice cream). I even invested in special bras that promised to keep things “perky.”
While some of my efforts paid off, there were inevitable losses I had to accept. With two energetic boys who seem to have inherited the stature of giants, my petite frame took a serious hit. My once-envied figure is now reminiscent of deflated balloons, and let’s just say, they won’t be making a public appearance anytime soon.
Let’s dive into the specifics, shall we?
- Breasts. Every mom I know reminisces about her pre-baby or pregnancy breasts. Post-babies, they either become overly large or shriveled little remnants. Why can’t we land somewhere in the middle? It’s as if our breasts now resemble deflated tube socks or sun-damaged fruit. How is that fair?
- Nipples. They’ve transformed into large flying saucers. For those breastfeeding, sensation is a distant memory. Fantastic.
- Bladder. I used to be a pro at holding my bladder during long work hours. Now, my bladder has taken the reins. When it’s time to go, it’s absolutely go time. Who knew motherhood meant praying to the bladder control Gods every time I sneezed, laughed, or coughed? This is a common lament among my fellow moms.
- Hair. If you have thick hair, take heed. I once sported a lovely, voluminous mane that drew compliments. Now, after months of shedding in the shower, I’m left with wispy strands that could star in a ’80s revival.
- Butt. For some inexplicable reason, my backside decided to blend into my legs during my last pregnancy. A few thousand squats at the gym should do the trick, if only I had the time as a busy mom!
- Feet. You’d think our feet would be spared amidst all this change, but no. Mine have grown a half size and won’t return to their original form. Goodbye, beloved heels that cost a fortune!
- Memory. Here’s a puzzling thought: I can recall my childhood phone number, yet I can’t remember where I last placed my phone or keys. Daily life is a blur, and motherhood has certainly taken a toll on my mental clarity.
- Tummy. While I never had the chiseled abs of a fitness model, I certainly didn’t sport a belly that resembled a burrito-eating champion, which is now my daily reality.
Was it all worth it? Absolutely. Would I go through it all again for my kids? Without a doubt. But let’s be honest – wouldn’t it be wonderful to wear a dress without the constriction of shapewear or to jump rope with our kids without worrying about an accident? We know the answer to that.
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Summary
Navigating motherhood comes with its fair share of body transformations, many of which can be challenging to accept. From changes in breast shape to bladder control issues and memory lapses, the adjustments can be overwhelming. However, the joys of motherhood outweigh these challenges, even if sometimes we wish we could regain a bit of our pre-baby bodies.