As a parent of twins, I frequently encounter the astonished remark, “Oh my goodness, TWINS – I can’t imagine how you manage!” My response is typically straightforward: A) I have no option, and B) I can’t compare it to anything else since I’ve had two kids from the start.
It’s true; I can’t send one back or postpone parenting one of them to savor the experience of raising just one child. The reality of managing two children of the same age, both vying for my attention, has been my norm since the beginning of my parenting journey.
Recently, I got a glimpse into a different world — the world of most parents, that is. My daughter, Mia, has been unwell, which meant I kept her home from preschool this week. For three days, while her twin sister was out enjoying time with friends, Mia and I shared some precious one-on-one moments.
Until now, I had no real basis for comparison. If someone told me that raising one child was challenging, I would have believed them. I could easily imagine the difficulties of managing kids of varying ages, and I know well that three children can be chaotic. My sister has eight children — yes, eight — and I completely understand why she sometimes feels like she’s forgotten large chunks of her life.
Every number of children presents its own challenges. While I usually maintain an upbeat attitude about the joys of raising twins, I must admit that this week’s experience has shown me just how much easier it can be to have only one child — at least in comparison to my usual routine.
Now, please don’t take this the wrong way if you’re a parent with a single child. I recognize that every situation is unique. This week’s experience has been delightful, but that’s largely because it’s a new experience for me. If I had only ever raised one child, I’m sure I’d have a different perspective.
This week has provided me a rare opportunity to appreciate what it might have been like if I hadn’t had twins and had welcomed my children at different times. For instance, today, I was able to patiently allow Mia to bake muffins from scratch without the chaos that typically accompanies baking with twins. Instead of feeling like a general scrambling to manage a battalion, I was able to enjoy the process.
Mia’s twin, Lila, also reaped the benefits. I left Mia with her dad for a whole afternoon while Lila and I enjoyed lunch and some leisurely shopping. Having just one child made it so much easier to relax without the worry of spills or chasing after two. This experience was a refreshing change that I will cherish.
I now see that raising just one child, especially after parenting twins, feels remarkably manageable! Although some might argue that only children face their own challenges, I find it hard to believe right now. Yes, they might get bored, but so do siblings, and it’s often louder when multiple voices are clamoring for attention. One child means fewer negotiations over games and activities, simplifying everything.
While my love for raising twins remains strong, I plan on incorporating more individual time with each of my daughters. This will serve as a reminder of how straightforward parenting can sometimes be.
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In summary, while parenting twins comes with its unique set of challenges, experiencing the simplicity of raising one child, even for a short time, has been a refreshing and enlightening experience.