- Super glue should never be present in homes with small children.
- Sharpies have no place either.
- Allowing your child to use your phone “just this once” is a slippery slope.
- Avoid using Google for medical diagnoses at all costs.
- Dollar store toys come with a hefty price tag of frustration and regret.
- The “terrible twos” are misleading; the challenges can persist well into age four—or maybe even longer.
- Always keep wipes handy, long after diaper days are over.
- Think twice before buying character Band-Aids—you may end up needing a box every week.
- You can never have too many Goldfish crackers—just the snacks, not the fish.
- Bunk beds are best avoided unless absolutely necessary.
- Keep track of gift-givers at birthday parties.
- Never stock batteries; they will only lead to loud toys being reactivated.
- Invest in Mr. Clean Erasers in bulk for easy cleanup.
- Always back up your photos; better yet, print them out.
- Check the oven before turning it on.
- Making beds is often pointless.
- Embrace the reality that you will inevitably turn into your mother.
- Always check pockets before doing laundry.
- There is no such thing as a quick trip to Target with kids in tow.
- Capture more moments on video.
- Daily baths are overrated.
- Seek young babysitters and nurture them; less attractive ones often work better.
- Keep a stash of one-dollar bills for lost teeth and bribes.
- Carry an abundance of emergency snacks in your vehicle.
- Keep expensive makeup out of reach, even high on shelves.
- The four-year-old check-up can be quite the ordeal.
- Look before sitting down to use the restroom.
- Train kids to tidy up Legos at night to avoid painful surprises.
- Save “no” for when it truly counts.
- Apply sunscreen generously.
- Approach any stray raisin on the floor with caution; it may not be what it seems.
- Never pay full price for kids’ clothing; they will always go on sale, and the pricey ones usually get ruined first.
- There’s a reason parents surprise their kids with Disney trips—the anticipation is exhausting.
- Don’t trust kids when they say they don’t need to go before leaving home.
- Lock your bedroom door for privacy.
- Also lock the bathroom door.
- Never accept a can of soda from a child without inspecting it first.
- Walk away from temper tantrums—or capture them for future laughs.
- Hair will grow back, even if you’re upset about a bad haircut.
- However, Barbie dolls don’t grow hair, so hide those scissors.
- Limit shoe purchases to two pairs; kids’ feet grow rapidly.
- No matter how much they pledge, kids won’t walk that puppy as much as you expect.
- Discard the books that you dread reading out loud.
- No child ever went to college with a pacifier in hand.
- Avoid toys that can be disassembled unless they can also reassemble them.
- Keep a secret stash of lollipops.
- Don’t allow Play-Doh in the house—or especially on carpets.
- Watching TV won’t actually turn their brains to mush.
- A bathroom shared with boys will never smell fresh.
- Remember, it doesn’t necessarily get easier.
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In summary, parenting young children is a unique journey filled with challenges and laughter. From managing toys to understanding your child’s needs, these lessons can help ease the way.