50 Essential Lessons for Parenting Young Children

  1. Super glue should never be present in homes with small children.
  2. Sharpies have no place either.
  3. Allowing your child to use your phone “just this once” is a slippery slope.
  4. Avoid using Google for medical diagnoses at all costs.
  5. Dollar store toys come with a hefty price tag of frustration and regret.
  6. The “terrible twos” are misleading; the challenges can persist well into age four—or maybe even longer.
  7. Always keep wipes handy, long after diaper days are over.
  8. Think twice before buying character Band-Aids—you may end up needing a box every week.
  9. You can never have too many Goldfish crackers—just the snacks, not the fish.
  10. Bunk beds are best avoided unless absolutely necessary.
  11. Keep track of gift-givers at birthday parties.
  12. Never stock batteries; they will only lead to loud toys being reactivated.
  13. Invest in Mr. Clean Erasers in bulk for easy cleanup.
  14. Always back up your photos; better yet, print them out.
  15. Check the oven before turning it on.
  16. Making beds is often pointless.
  17. Embrace the reality that you will inevitably turn into your mother.
  18. Always check pockets before doing laundry.
  19. There is no such thing as a quick trip to Target with kids in tow.
  20. Capture more moments on video.
  21. Daily baths are overrated.
  22. Seek young babysitters and nurture them; less attractive ones often work better.
  23. Keep a stash of one-dollar bills for lost teeth and bribes.
  24. Carry an abundance of emergency snacks in your vehicle.
  25. Keep expensive makeup out of reach, even high on shelves.
  26. The four-year-old check-up can be quite the ordeal.
  27. Look before sitting down to use the restroom.
  28. Train kids to tidy up Legos at night to avoid painful surprises.
  29. Save “no” for when it truly counts.
  30. Apply sunscreen generously.
  31. Approach any stray raisin on the floor with caution; it may not be what it seems.
  32. Never pay full price for kids’ clothing; they will always go on sale, and the pricey ones usually get ruined first.
  33. There’s a reason parents surprise their kids with Disney trips—the anticipation is exhausting.
  34. Don’t trust kids when they say they don’t need to go before leaving home.
  35. Lock your bedroom door for privacy.
  36. Also lock the bathroom door.
  37. Never accept a can of soda from a child without inspecting it first.
  38. Walk away from temper tantrums—or capture them for future laughs.
  39. Hair will grow back, even if you’re upset about a bad haircut.
  40. However, Barbie dolls don’t grow hair, so hide those scissors.
  41. Limit shoe purchases to two pairs; kids’ feet grow rapidly.
  42. No matter how much they pledge, kids won’t walk that puppy as much as you expect.
  43. Discard the books that you dread reading out loud.
  44. No child ever went to college with a pacifier in hand.
  45. Avoid toys that can be disassembled unless they can also reassemble them.
  46. Keep a secret stash of lollipops.
  47. Don’t allow Play-Doh in the house—or especially on carpets.
  48. Watching TV won’t actually turn their brains to mush.
  49. A bathroom shared with boys will never smell fresh.
  50. Remember, it doesn’t necessarily get easier.

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In summary, parenting young children is a unique journey filled with challenges and laughter. From managing toys to understanding your child’s needs, these lessons can help ease the way.