Updated: August 6, 2020
Originally Published: August 22, 2013
Summer has never been my favorite season. The heat is relentless, and I find myself drenched in sweat. The schedule becomes a chaotic mess that changes from week to week—sometimes even day to day. I’m tasked with keeping my restless kids entertained while juggling my work commitments. On top of that, I have to remind them to eat nutritious meals and get outside instead of being glued to their screens.
However, what I dread the most about summer is the dreaded school supply shopping. This annual ordeal feels more like a torturous scavenger hunt than a simple shopping trip. The supply list is an overwhelming collection of specific, hard-to-find items, and by the end, I often feel like I’ve spent a small fortune traveling from store to store. It’s as if my disdain for summer has manifested in this punishing task.
Here are six things I would much rather be doing than hunting for school supplies:
- Enduring Multiple Root Canals
The time commitment and visits to the dentist would likely still be shorter than my search for that elusive 10-pack of classic washable markers (no pastels, please!) and the five 1-inch white binders with clear sleeves and pockets. Plus, the dental work might be cheaper. - Teaching a Room Full of Preschoolers to Tie Their Shoes
This would be less frustrating than battling through store after store for school supplies only to return home with the wrong items—like the blue folders, which I discovered too late were supposed to be plastic instead of paper. - Expressing My Dog’s Anal Glands
The unpleasant odor would be more bearable than the smell of sweaty, stressed-out parents enduring the same painful shopping expedition, often with cranky kids in tow. - Giving Up Bacon for a Year
The heartbreak from avoiding my favorite food would be minor compared to the frustration of finding out, after visiting five stores, that the school-approved white Magic Rub pencil erasers I reserved are all gone. - Undergoing a Full Body Wax, Including My Nasal Hair
The discomfort from waxing would pale in comparison to the ear-splitting scream my daughter lets out when she realizes those coveted high-top shoes from her favorite band don’t meet uniform guidelines. - Daily Intimacy with My Husband for a Month
And yes, swallowing.
I could think of more things that would be preferable to this shopping nightmare, but first, I have to decipher the school supply lists (one for each child!), drag my kids to at least five different stores to snag the exact items, return the wrong purchases, and label every individual crayon. Seriously. Who has the time, money, patience, or stamina for this?
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Summary:
School supply shopping is a dreaded summer ritual that many parents find more torturous than other less pleasant activities. From dental work to teaching preschoolers, there are numerous things one might prefer over this exhausting scavenger hunt for the perfect supplies.