I didn’t have a camping background, and while I wasn’t against the idea, my experiences were limited. However, after embarking on a 17-day road trip with seasoned camping friends—which included nine nights at five distinct campgrounds—I developed a solid perspective on why camping could be considered one of the wildest activities for modern humans.
1. The Pit Toilet Dilemma
When researching our campground at Yosemite, I stumbled upon claims of flushing toilets. Turns out, the truth was a bit skewed. The nearest flushing toilets were a seven-minute trek from our campsite. In urgent situations, we had to brave the pit toilets located at the group site. If you’re unfamiliar, these are essentially glorified outhouses, and while they may smell somewhat bearable immediately after cleaning (a process I like to call “flumping”), they quickly become unbearable. With around 80 campers sharing two pit toilets, you can only imagine the aroma. Thankfully, hand sanitizer was available, though the flush toilets had neither soap nor warm water—finding a campground with soap is akin to striking gold. Lesson learned: always pack soap!
1a. Nighttime Pit Toilets
Let’s not gloss over the nighttime toilet situation. Navigating pit toilets in the dark with only a flashlight feels like a scene from a horror film. It’s terrifying!
2. Bugs Everywhere
We were lucky enough to camp during a hot, dry summer, minimizing mosquito encounters. However, my first night was plagued by nightmares of being devoured by bugs in my sleeping bag, which I fought off with a spoon. No bugs were visible during the day, but sleeping outside made it feel as though they were crawling all over me. And let’s not forget about the flies buzzing around the pit toilets—yes, flies and no soap. Clearly, campers must be a little out there.
3. Tent Life
Let’s discuss the absurdity of sleeping in a tent. At home, we lock our doors to keep out potential threats, yet while camping, we willingly set up camp among strangers in the woods, with just a flimsy nylon barrier between us and the unknown. Throughout our trip, I found myself crafting a murder mystery narrative in my head. “The zipper slowly creaked open…” you get the idea.
4. Wildlife Encounters
Those cute raccoons and squirrels love to invade your makeshift kitchen and picnic dining space at night. Imagine bears or mountain lions roaming your neighborhood—there’d be chaos! Yet, while camping, they wander freely, and all you have is a thin nylon sheet between them and your sleeping family. Insanity, I tell you.
5. Neighborly Sounds
That nylon wall means you’ll hear every sound from fellow campers. One night, a woman with a persistent cough was particularly loud, while another family, with their dogs, provided entertainment by yelling names like “Buddy! Get back here!” We even encountered a musician but also a camper with an air horn. Who brings an air horn camping? Apparently, a crazy camper.
6. Smoke Inhalation
In everyday life, we generally avoid secondhand smoke, yet while camping, we inhale campfire smoke by the mouthful. I might as well have smoked a pack of cigarettes from the amount of smoke I inhaled. It’s impossible to escape, no matter how often you change seats. They say smoke follows beauty, but it seems to follow those who dare to camp.
7. Dirt and Grime
Don’t be deceived by those pristine families in the outdoor catalogs—camping is dirty, and I mean really dirty. The dirt becomes part of you, and even after four days back home, I still can’t get my feet clean. Showers? Some campgrounds don’t offer them, and those that do often charge for warm water. I’ve never been so thrilled to pay for a shower in my life.
8. Sticky S’mores
Let’s add the mess of s’mores into the mix. These gooey treats somehow make dirt and stickiness even worse. We serve them to our already filthy children, and then attempt to put them to bed in a tent. Pure craziness.
9. Surprisingly Enjoyable
Despite my gripes, camping turned out to be a fun experience. The fresh air, the stars, and the beauty of nature were invigorating. Watching deer gracefully pass through our campsite was a thrill, far more delightful than seeing them in our backyard. Being outdoors without modern distractions allowed our children to embrace nature, and the minor discomforts turned into cherished memories. It seems that I might just be one of those “crazy” people who enjoy camping—provided I remember to check the toilet situation and bring my own soap.
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Summary
Camping, while seemingly absurd, offers a unique blend of challenges and joys. From dealing with pit toilets and bugs to embracing nature and family bonding, it can be an unforgettable experience. Despite the inconveniences, the beauty of the outdoors and quality time with loved ones often outweigh the discomforts.