As I prepare to return to work, I find myself feeling a profound sadness that rivals few other experiences—like rewatching a heart-wrenching film on repeat or stepping on the scale after a feast. For months, I’ve cherished bonding with my second child, learning his needs, and celebrating his milestones. The time spent on the couch getting acquainted with Netflix has also been a highlight, let’s be honest.
Even though I genuinely enjoy my job, the thought of leaving my little one fills me with dread. Friends and family seem to have a sixth sense for tracking the calendar and have begun to inquire about my return to work. I wish they would treat this sensitive subject like politics or religion—best left unmentioned! Instead, their well-meaning comments remind me of how little they seem to understand the emotional whirlwind of a postpartum woman.
So, let me share some insights on what not to say to a mother preparing to transition back to work:
“Do you really have to go back to work?”
Returning to work feels like the modern-day equivalent of shaving my legs: it’s not legally required, but if I want to avoid confusion with a Sasquatch, I’d better do it. Yes, I need to work—just like I need to keep my student loans at bay. Please don’t amplify my anxiety by implying that I have a choice in a situation where I don’t.
“Who will take care of your kids?”
If I had Nanny McPhee on speed dial or if I could get Kate Middleton to babysit, life would be much easier! I know enough about the world to be cautious, and I’ve seen enough crime shows to understand the risks involved. Trust that I will find a suitable caregiver who I can rely on—please stop questioning my judgment.
“It’ll be harder on you than on the kids.”
How reassuring to think my children won’t notice my absence! If that’s the case, maybe I should consider a permanent getaway—after all, I can’t imagine them spending their time reminiscing about me while they’re busy discovering new toys.
“Saying goodbye will get easier.”
Actually, I find it much easier to say goodbye to this conversation than to my children! The tears I’ll shed at the office won’t be just a passing phase, I assure you.
“Better get waterproof mascara!”
Thanks for the heads-up! I’ll definitely need something stronger than that to mask the tears that will flow. I recently cried during a rerun of a sitcom, so I am fully aware of the emotional challenges that lie ahead.
“You’ll eventually find the right balance.”
If only that were as easy as it sounds! The truth is, the world doesn’t bend over backwards to accommodate working mothers. Finding a balance is akin to searching for a lost diamond necklace in the ocean—nearly impossible!
“You’ll be a great role model for your daughter.”
Let’s not forget that I brought a human into this world! I’ve taught my daughter invaluable lessons about kindness, gratitude, and even the basics of potty training. I’m proud of my role in her life, and that is already a model of strength.
“You will benefit from adult interaction.”
Just because I’m a “stay-at-home mom” doesn’t mean I don’t engage with the outside world. I love spontaneous trips to Target, storytime at the library, and playdates! Honestly, I’d rather discuss the absurdity of underwater creatures having campfires with my toddler than dive into adult conversations.
“Work for a few years and then reassess.”
If only it were that simple! I’m fortunate to be in a field where I can earn a decent salary, but the financial burdens of raising children don’t disappear overnight. There’s always college, weddings, and all the expenses that come with raising kids looming ahead.
“The time you do have will be more meaningful.”
Absolutely! Every moment with my children is precious. However, the emotional toll of returning to work can’t be overlooked. Motherhood is profound no matter where we are or what we do. Support without judgment is key—sometimes, it’s just better to avoid the topic altogether.
In summary, transitioning back to work after maternity leave is fraught with emotional challenges. The best approach is to offer support and understanding rather than unsolicited advice, as this is a deeply personal and sensitive time for many mothers.
For those seeking more information on motherhood and family planning, you can visit Kindbody for excellent resources, or check out our fertility booster for men for additional insights.