Parenting Insights
“Mom, can I have a bikini?”
I glanced at my seven-year-old daughter, her eyes sparkling with excitement. Before I could respond, she asked again, “Can I have a bikini?”
My thoughts raced ahead. A bikini—a genuine two-piece, not just a standard tankini. She had one last summer, but she’s grown so much since then. She has changed.
As her mother, I carry a weight of worries. I fear she might feel excluded, anxious, or ridiculed. I am concerned she’ll experience the same body image struggles I’ve faced throughout my life. I worry she may never feel comfortable in a bikini after age ten—and even now, I dread the potential comments from others about whether she should wear one.
I suggested we take a few different swimsuits into the fitting room to try on. I gently guided her towards a bikini with more coverage. She hesitated, firmly standing her ground. Yes, I know I’m the mom, the one who pays and ultimately decides. However, I believe in giving her a choice, a voice in this matter.
At seven, children have limited opportunities to make decisions. Shouldn’t I allow her this one that won’t harm anyone and might bring her joy? She needs swimsuits for the summer, and the ones I ordered online were all wrong. The tankinis looked cute on her, but I knew she yearned for that bikini—the one adorned with frills and vibrant colors that contrast beautifully against the black fabric. She wants to feel a bit more grown-up, and I understand that. Plus, she longs for comfort. How can I fault her for that?
So, I shifted my perspective and decided to buy her the bikini.
Weeks later, as I watched her leap off the dock into the water, a few realizations struck me. First, the bikini fit her better than any other suit. Second, my daughter—my sweet girl—exuded confidence in wearing it. She didn’t care what anyone else thought, and I found the strength to let her embrace that.
This experience taught me that confidence can flourish when we allow our children to express themselves, even in small ways.
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Summary:
In this reflective piece, Lisa Morgan grapples with her daughter’s request for a bikini, navigating her own insecurities while recognizing her child’s desire for self-expression and comfort. Ultimately, she learns to embrace her daughter’s confidence and the importance of allowing children to make choices that empower them.